Thinking is a Sin (Zane x Reader) Phoenix Drop High

Chapter 26

"There's no use doing a kindness if you do it a day too late."
- Charles Kingsley

Chapter 26 - Comfort

"Wait," You called out, your voice cracking. You could feel the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you tried your best to keep yourself from breaking down in front of Zane.

Zane stared back at you with concern, his head replaying your distressed call for him to stop and come back. Zane quickly shut your door, making his way to you in almost lightning speed. It hurt him to see you so unhappy... almost broken.

"It's okay," Zane whispered, enveloping you in a warm hug.

Slowly, you wrapped your arms around him, allowing yourself to finally let out all of your emotions that you've been keeping in. You just sat there and cried, sobbing until your head and eyes ached. To your surprise, Zane didn't detract from you, only waiting until you calmed down, sniffing because of your clogged up nose.

As Zane let go of you, you couldn't help but apologize when you saw how gloomy he looked.  "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Zane questioned, wondering why you looked so regretful.

"I didn't-" You took a moment to take a deep breath to calm yourself down, "I didn't mean to break down in front of you."

Zane kept himself from chuckling, finding it funny you're worried about such a normal thing. "As much as I hate seeing that kind of emotion, you shouldn't keep yourself from letting it out."

You just slowly nodded, still feeling ashamed for ruining your best friend's shirt. Zane kept his eyes on you, trying to figure out what you were going to do next if you were even going to do anything. He felt bad for you to keep everything inside, knowing well that when he was sad, he wouldn't keep it in, just letting it his emotions either through tantrums or by silent cries in his room. He wasn't afraid to admit that he cried by himself a lot as a child, he felt like he had no one to talk to back then. But now, he had you. He didn't have to worry about you judging him or telling him to man up when he was beginning to get upset. You were just there to listen and be a good friend.

Then that gets into the topic of being friends. Both of you knew there was something more. When you lock eye contact, you both tend to look away, embarrassed the other person even got caught looking. There were also those really awkward moments when your friends would tease you two about how close you were, both physically and emotionally. Both of you would sit next to each other constantly, finding yourself pushing Laurance out of the seat beside you so that Zane could sit next to you. Regardless of what you both felt, you and Zane were afraid to admit it. You didn't want to ruin such a good friendship just by saying three words.

"It's my mom," you sniffed, groaning slightly as your head throbbed, "I'm going to see her tomorrow."

Zane knew that your mom was a hard topic for you, given that she's been in jail since you were a child. The raven sat next to you, grasping your hand in his as he motioned for you to carry on.

"I just- I don't know what to expect. I haven't seen her in so long that I don't even know if she remembers me, I don't know if she loves me-"

"(Y/n), of course your mom loves you, just because she's been away for years doesn't mean she forgot about you. You're her child." Zane could feel his heartthrob as you, once again, looked heartbroken. Gently, he decided to rub his thumb soothingly on the back of your hand to calm you down a bit. Zane knew as a child he didn't feel like he had anyone to talk to but he definitely did not want you to feel that way. He wanted you to know that he was here for you and wouldn't leave you, no matter how much you tell him.

"You know, my mom always told me that thinking is a sin."

Zane was silent, looking at you curiously as he continued to listen.

"Thinking only got you in trouble, she believed that if your heart told you to do something, you should do it." You laughed softly, "I guess that's part of the reason she's in jail."

You sighed, leaning your head on Zane's shoulder, causing him to tense up slightly. "My mom would always tell me as a child, 'Follow your heart and don't listen to the people who try to stop you. They're your obstacles. The people who stand beside you no matter how much you change are the people who care for you the most.'"

You rose your head from Zane's shoulder to look him in the eye. "You're one of those people. You care for me, right?"

Zane chuckled, "Maybe a bit too much."

Ignoring all of your thoughts, you followed your mom's words, only trusting your heart as you did the thing that would either ruin or save your life altogether.

You kissed Zane.

༺༒༻

I know I was like, "I'm probably not going to update until even after New Years- blah blah blah" but here we are like 3 days later with another update. This is like record time.

Can we just process all of this for a moment? I know you all are probably freaking out and honestly, I am too. Even as the author of this book, my heart is literally swelling right now.

Anyway, I don't know when the next chapter is going to come out. I think you all learned to not trust my word on things. But I do know that I love all of you to pieces as weird as that sounds. I hope you all have a wonderful day/night.

- Author~Chan

I have a quick question for all of you, are you on your winter break yet or is it just me?

Ah~ young love