Falling Backwards

Running back

Month: October

ALYSON'S POV

It's October and I'm 25 weeks along now and R5's tour starts in a little while, but Rocky still hasn't come home. Ross and Rydel are still my best friends thank goodness. I couldn't do this without them. Riker still lives with me. Rocky stopped saying he was coming home soon. If I asked when he'd be back, he'd reply "I don't know..." He had finally told his mom and dad where he was and they went to visit him all the time. I knew because they told me. I told them I didn't need to know but they said it was some penthouse in a hotel on the beach, but I never bothered to tell him I knew, nor go to visit him. He would do on his own time, but he had come by to the apartment and gotten more of his clothes. I had noticed.

About a week ago I had a doctor's appointment and I called Rocky. I got no answer and no response to my message, so Rydel came with me. She loved seeing everything and she held my hand and was jumping with excitement, but a part of me thought Rocky should have been there too.

Riker and I have dinner at the Lynch's house every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday night. Sometimes we go over on Sundays. It gets really quiet around the apartment when I'm not in class. My papers and assignment just don't take much time anymore and now that I'm only headed for an associates degree I'm practically finished. The Lynch's have been doing promo with the album and they're gone on meetings all the time. Riker always comes home for dinner though. I spend a lot of time at Kay and Dylan's. We've been shopping for baby stuff. Rocky calls every third or fourth night. The other day he told me he went to closing on the house because I had a class. He still signed the papers, so we were home owners together, but with no foundation to live together. I hadn't even thought to talk about closing because it was his deal. He came through I guess.

It's Wednesday night and Riker just got home from a meeting. "Hey," he said stiffly, walking through the door. "Hey, Rike. What's up?" I said, folding laundry on the couch. He sat down. "Nothing." "You sure?" "Yep." He paused. "Are you sure you want to go over to my parents for dinner? I was just over at the house and there's a lot going on." I looked up, "I just talked to Rydel and she said they were excited we were coming over." Riker rolled his eyes. "That was before the idiot came back," "what?" I said inquisitively. "Nothing. If you want to go, we can go."

'He's acting weird,' I thought. "Is that okay?" I questioned. "Yeah. It's fine with me if it's fine with you." He got up and walked to his room. "We leave in ten minutes, Al. Be ready." "It's family dinner Rike, how hard will it be?"

I liked having Riker live with me still. I stopped coming into bed with him, for good reason, because that's my boyfriends, at least I think we're still together, brother. He made dinners and cleaned and brought nice people over to hang out. Although it was quite interesting when he brought girls over, seeing as they walk into an apartment with pictures of the band and then me and Rocky. And I'm also pregnant.

Riker was quiet on the way to his family's house. "Is Rydel alright?" He asked me. "Yeah, why?" "Because she's been so in the clouds lately. Like she's in love or something." I gasped. 'They still hadn't told the family!' I thought to myself. I can keep it in. "Well, Rydel's always happy, maybe she's just excited for our baby. Or the new album. It could be anything."

He pulled into their driveway and there were a lot of cars. Ross had his, we were in my car, Riker's car was at our house. Rydel's car was there, Ryland's car, Ellington's car, and both Stormie and Mark's cars were there. Rocky's car was on the street too, but it had been there for a week now, he was keeping it there and walking everywhere, according to his mom.

Riker let himself in, "Alyson and I are here!" He shouted. I walked in, hugging everyone in the living room. They seemed on edge. "Where's Stormie, Kitchen?" I asked Ross. He nodded quickly, "Yeah, but you don't have to say hi right now," He grabbed my hand, pulling me to sit down. I laughed, "Ross, I want to say hi to your mom! It's no big deal, Shor,"

I walked into the kitchen and a familiar shape in a grey beanie turned around from next to Stormie. My jaw dropped, "Rocky?" I said, feeling dizzy. "Baby," he said, running to me. He picked up me and twirled me, gripping me into his arms; I missed those arms so much. "Hi," I said to him. "Why are you, what?" I looked up at his hazel eyes, "I came for dinner," he smiled. He grasped my hand and led me to Stormie. We finished preparing dinner.

Everyone ate dinner quietly. Rocky kept looking at me and smiling at me. Ross and Ryland kept giving him looks. Stormie and Mark barely spoke. Rydel and Riker excused themselves from the table early. The plates cleared and Ross sat back down next to us. "Rocky," he said, sternly. Rocky looked for me to Ross and scowled, "not now, bro." Ross snapped in his face, "No, now. You don't get to act like everything is fine just because you're back. Tell her." I looked at him with intense eyes. "What happened?" I whispered.

Rocky couldn't find the words in his mouth. "I..." I tried to search in his eyes, but I saw pain and sadness. "Rocky, what happened, Love?" Ross rolled his eyes, "Rocky, tell her, damn it." "Ross, stay out of it!" Rocky snapped. "Go do the damn dishes or something!" Ross got up and hit his hand down on the table and walked into the kitchen.

"What the hell was that?" I said to him once Ross was gone. "That was unnecessary." Rocky looked down. "I did something..." He whispered, closing his eyes "You, what?" I asked calmly. "I did something." He said a little louder. "You did what, Rocky?" I stared at him and he kept looking down. "I..." Ross stood in the doorway as if waiting for something or someone. I did not ask him to leave. "Rocky, talk, baby," I said to him as I put my hand on his back. "I..." he said, he took a deep breath. "I slept with someone..."

My hand dropped. "You did what?" Tears gathered in my eyes. I did not want to cry. I didn't need to cry. I was strong, why was I crying? "I slept with someone a couple of weeks ago. It was completely a mistake and I regret it entirely." He spoke barely above a whisper. "No," I said to him. "How could you?" I rose from the table, "Why would you do this to me, Why would you do this to her?" I pointed to my stomach. "I told you, it was a mistake babe." Rocky said getting up. "No," I said to him. "I trusted you," my voice cracked and I began full blown water works.

"I love you with all of my heart and this is what you do? You go off and leave me to sleep with some other girl?" "It was only one time and I wasn't in my right mind." "That justifies nothing Rocky." He tried to reach for my hand, but I backed away, I couldn't touch him. "It will never happen again Alyson," He said to me. "Obviously," I breathed, "But it shouldn't have happened the first time Rocky." He looked really hurt, but not as hurt as I was.

"I told you it was a mistake." He said calmly. "No," I repeated. "The mistake was expecting someone like you to handle this. You can't handle this. As I see now, you don't have the maturity to go through rough patches without running away, and sleeping around for that matter!" "It was one girl!" "It doesn't fucking matter! I trusted you! I needed someone to take care of me and the baby and you've failed in my eyes. I can't believe you," rI cried and Ross came over to me. He hugged me tightly and I didn't want to let go.

I wanted to run and hug Rocky and him to tell me it was going to be okay, but he was the one who had caused all of this. I wiped my eyes and looked at Rocky one last time. I whispered, "You can just plan on staying in your penthouse. I don't think I want you at home right now." I walked out to the living room. "Riker, can we go home?" He jumped up and nodded. "Good night everyone," I said quietly. "I'm so sorry about all of this," They all hugged me and Riker good bye. Rocky stood in the kitchen doorway.

I glanced back at him and there were tears in his eyes. I got into my car and Riker drove us home.