The Only Fish He Couldn't Cook (Thatch x Oc) One piece ON HOLD

Trust me, we'll make things right

"I'd also like to dedicate this party to... my good friend Hatch! For finding a...a...devil fruit!" Ace drunkenly announced to the crew despite knowing that they already knew before falling over half due to a narcolepsy attack.

"Someone check Ace's pulse, he's definitely out of the competition yoi!"

Shouting across the cheerful bar, Jozu was the one to drag him away. There was only some of the crew on the island as the rest stayed on the ship and partied there.

"It's just Marco, Thatch and the new girl!"

Throwing cup after cup back, the siren surrounded herself with bottles of liquor with no sign of stopping. Eventually swiping the bottles from the dumbfounded Thatch and Marco, she snatched the win by default.

"Light work, where's the rest?" Sliding her tail slightly, she knocked over several bottles in the process .

"In your guts, weren't you the one drinking all of it?!"

"Bet you'd also like to be in her guts yoi.." whispered a sly looking Marco.

"SHHhHh!"

Not even paying attention the bickering that was playing out in front of her, her eyes remained on the fat man with several pies lined up in front of him who kept taking malicious glances towards the flirtatious chef.
Sitting up straight, small squelching noises could be heard if listened to closely before a human girl crawled out of the Siren as if she'd been wearing her as a skin and sauntered over to the shocked Teach. Although there was a lack of clothing, her extremely long hair took care of that issue almost a little too perfectly.

Ah, good 'ol censorship.

Apprehending the collar of his beige colored shirt and yanking him upwards with surprising arm strength, she closed some of the distance between their faces.

"My name is Ralei, Bitch! You will address me nothing less and always more!!" She shouted with the intent to deafen. "If you even think about placing your filthy hands on Thatch, I will personally navigate my hands through your gallons of fat, pluck out each of your organs, and watch you squirm and die like a drowning rat."

Every pair of eyes in the room had widened to the size of dinner plates as several jaws were dropped.

"Wooh! Get 'em Ral!" The siren cheered on.

"That is all."

Sinking back into the Siren, the room was bombarded with a chorus of questioned voices.
"OI WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT YOI."

"Hehehe! It was Ralei! She's a little mad right now though, I don't think she'll come out right now... She's also embarrassed that she said that in front of— oof!" She cut herself off with a punch to her face.

"In front of who?" Thatch questioned."

"In front of—oof—ow okay I'll shut up!! I'll put it as simply as possible, She's met you two before on an island and is waiting to make an epic reappearance!"

"Teach how does that burn feel..?" Ace drunkenly questioned from the side of the room where he layed on a table.

"It feels like a red hot fist right to the heart zehahaha!" He half heartedly said, eating another pie to give himself a reason not to say anything.

Turning back to the strange specimen at hand, Marco finally asked the question that everyone else was too nervous to.

"So what exactly are you and what's that power yoi?"

Tilting her head to the side a bit, she paused before answering.

"Ral said I can't tell yet. Oh! Or at-least not in this situation with everyone..and she also has trust issues but you didn't hear that from me! I'm sure she'll tell y'all tomorrow though!"

Patting Marco on the back, Thatch spoke up while also standing up in the process.

"I think it's about time we head back to the ship and call it a night, the log pose sets in a couple of hours anyways."

This of course was just a facade and he was actually shitfaced, causing him to stumble into a wall and fall over. Chances are that the log pose had already set and he had no clue as to what the time actually was.

"Doesn't seem like reliable information anymore yoi.. Let's head back."

"Sounds like plan."

"So does that mean you can poop?" Ace questioned yet again from the other side of the room and got several chairs to the face as a response.

The crew packed their stuff up and by the time they had arrived at the ship, all of the able bodies including Thatch were on the the night shift. Rain and lightning bolts fell relentlessly but didn't seem to bother the ship in the slightest.

Good 'ol reliable Moby.

Teach held a recently sharpened dagger close to his side and approached the unsuspecting and lonesome Thatch.

"Oh, Thatch! 'Don't accidentally drop your newly found fruit into the ocean now.' Says Ral!" Sitting on a tiny bubble that the pink coral produced to make the Siren mobile, she commented before closing the door behind her.

"Hah! As if I'd be that clumsy!" He chuckled about to take a bite of said fruit.

As soon he heard a click, Teach sprung forward and plunged the dagger into Thatch's back several times, piercing organs along the way.

"Oh and also she said she loves you but you didn't hear that from—" A sharp gasp cut her sentence short. A flash of lightning brightened the sight of two armament covered arms emerging from the siren's abdomen before a whole and hunched over body followed suit.

"Was the warning at the bar not enough, Teach?!" Not giving him a chance to respond, he was thrown to the ground with one hand clamped down around his throat while the other raised itself, ready to pierce skin.

"Zehahahaha! I knew you looked familiar but I never thought we'd meet again in a situation like this, Rale!" Coughing out a shitty comment seemed like the right thing to do. Scenarios like this would usually make a character pause and have a flashback, giving the enemy a chance to escape but Ralei had her eyes on the prize and stabbed her arm into his stomach. He squirmed painfully at the sensation.

"Devil fruit isn't so handy now is it, Marshal D. Teach. You've been eating so well, let me take some weight off of your hands for ya!" She fished around before scooping out a handful of cellulite. "Le, take care of Thatch, administer the blue slime and when everyone wakes...take him to Paradise and make sure he stays alive. I won't be able for much longer."

Tossing her the tiny pink coral without taking her eyes off of the traitor below her, she listened to several creeks of a door opening and finally noticed that the sun had already risen and people were beginning to wake up to switch shifts. Teach took the single moment in which Ralei blinked to punch her in the gut and to the side of the deck.

"I'm sure that won't leave a scar but you better believe that it'll hurt like a bitch for the next few weeks."

"Zehahaha! I'm out of this place, why not join my crew? I'm also curious about the blue slime you mentioned—"

"Are you dim? I wanna kill you so badly right now—" Ralei threatened before falling flat on the deck like a dead body.

"I'll be back to get you some day!" Making a weak get away, Teach was gone in no time.

Crew members began to flood the deck at the sound of frightened yells and in little time, the division commanders were also out.

"Thatch yoi?! Ralei?! Oi, wake up..!"

"Oi..who did this!?" Ace asked the Siren, clearly livid.

Sticking out her bottom lip and turning her head to the side, she noted that Marco had put a blanket over her. "It was that no good, Teach!"

"I'm gonna kill that bastard...!"

"Now now, Ace calm down and think about this for a second yoi—"

"There ain't nothing to think about, I know what I gotta do."

*record scratch and freeze frame on Ralei on the floor*
"Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got in this situation. Well it all started on this winter island and a small miscommunication."