nunchi [txt yeonjun]

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yeonjun never believed in the saying: love is blind. infatuation may be, but love never. random happy-go-on-dates-lucky stuff was blind, when people didn't really care and love wasn't truly love. but when one saw all the flaws and the masks and the secrets, and still found themselves drawn towards that individual, then that was the real deal.

nobody else seemed to understand that. she didn't seem either. kwon yeonwoo. she was another name on the list of girls whose hearts he had to break. he was in the damned habit of not loving back whichever poor unfortunate girl soul who had had the misfortune to fall in love with him.

just like how the girls he had taken a liking to never reciprocated.

when he was a freshman, sana pretended she didn't know him when he'd finally his courage to as her out. he had even bought her flowers. and God only knew how hard it had been to bait, beg, blackmail her best friend into telling him sana liked tulips.

next, he was a sophomore and yet hyejin looked down at him like one would look at a three-year-old doing something stupid, despite the fact she was younger than him by a good half of a year.

then, he was a junior and jikyo told him he wouldn't date him even if they were the last two people on earth, after which she got together with kai. they were friends and into the same girl at the same time. not that he held a grudge or anything. people deserved to be happy and each had a time to be happy. his hadn't come. theirs had at that point. (for a few months only, but whatever).

and, finally, he became a senior.

they called her malina, instead of her korean name. she liked it better. she had uncles or something in the us and boasted about going abroad and joining the hollywoodian stage. bold, confident and gorgeous, she'd easily caught his eye.

however,  beside her snow-white appearance, hair black as ebony, lips red as blood and skin white as snow, her reptutation was something hard to overlook - for him, their high school and half the city. the girl was dangerous. she'd dug graves, broke people up, made her way up through society, like the femme fatale she aspired to be.

or so the rumours said. yeonjun hated to believe them, but couldn't ignore them either. apart from that, he'd been around her and knew her and knew her capable of so many of the bad things the voices said behind her back. not that she cared very much anyways. but then again, he knew better than to define people based on past choices.

she had a history, she had a bad reputation, she was dangerous. but tht made her so intriguing and so damn more gorgeous.

if only she didn't look at him like hyejin had, like he were some lost cute puppy that sang rather than barked.

at the other end of the feminine spectrum, there were girls like kwon yeonwoo, who may have deserved more from life than falling in love with him. he was like under a curse, doomed, and they were going down like him.

some of them never came to proclaim their undying love, but he had figured it. most weren't that good at hiding it. the smiles, the widened eyes, the sudden glow up in appearance. he'd have to be really stupid not to notice those small things and how they came together as evidence for the obvious verdict.

and there was the other category, of those verbalizing - to the extent of each's capacity - what they were feeling. he certainly admired their courage and resolve, though they were harder to deal with. once he'd told one that it wasn't their time, it wasn't their place, omitting that he couldn't see those ever arriving. with another he'd been harsher, the i don't reciprocate and don't think i ever will, sorry but not really sorry kind of harsh, despite having been classmates with the hopeful young lady since primary school. funnily enough, with her, he'd managed to remain friends.

and then there came yeonwoo. she'd started liking him back when he was a junior and all the way through his senior year. and they had yet to sort things out. he'd already started hating himself for wasting her time.

he had to focus on something else, to take his mind off the guilt. a part of him also wondered whether sana, hyejin, jikyo or malina had ever felt bad about never giving him a real chance. he wasn't going to ever receive an answer, however. maybe all those girls were wondering the same thing. he couldn't tell.

not even to his own questions could he give answers, let alone others'. he hoped, though, that they knew it was better to end stories at the proper moment, rather than keep adding useless chapters. if only he followed this advice himself.