A New Beginning

Chapter 3

"Nat!"

I blinked my eyes open to see Steve standing over me, shaking my shoulders. I was still panting, my face and neck covered in sweat.

"Steve... Steve..." my voice came out weak as I said this, wrapping my arms around him. "I'm sorry, I just had another nightmare."

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the image of Steve, on the ground, his limbs contorted in ways that I couldn't unsee. His face had been pale in my nightmare, like the face of someone who had been drained of blood. As Steve patted my back, I calmed down and my breathing steadied.

"Another nightmare? Nat - you really have to see someone about this," Steve said, his voice filled with concern. I shook my head and cleared my throat.

"No, you don't get it Steve. It's just... my nightmares... no one can help me because I believe the stuff they tell me, Steve," I sighed.

"Who? What? Who are they? What do they tell you?"

I shuddered, thinking of the cold feeling that would creep around the back of my neck. Should I open up to him? When I tell someone about my nightmares, it's usually just the simple stuff, like they haunt me with visions of my past. Maybe I could trust Steve.

"Sit down, this is going to take awhile," I said, patting the spot next to me on the bed. "So... you know how I was trained in the red room in the past? Well, in the red room, I was forced to do a lot of terrible stuff. I was forced to kill innocent people. A lot of them. Too many to count. And one day, near graduation, I was assigned a task to fight my... my best friend. It was a fight to the death. And, as you might realize by now, I won the fight. I killed my best friend. I'm such a... monster. It's awful, you know? Knowing that you killed the person closest to you besides family, which I also didn't have. And so in my nightmare, I found myself in this large chamber, and it was empty at first. But that's when the horror started. The dead body of that friend fell from the ceiling, and the body was exactly how it was when she had died. Then more bodies fell. Of all the innocent people that I killed. At that moment this voice from behind me says things like 'you're a monster' and 'you don't deserve a family'. And of course, I believe this stuff. Trust me, if you were anything like me, you would believe it." I paused and waited for Steve's response. He looked like he was deep in thought.

"And you are nothing like me," I continued. "You can't argue with that. When I met you, I saw this noble soldier, America's golden boy, who was perfect in every way. Then I discovered your flaws, your fears, the secrets that you hold inside. Still, you seemed like a perfect person, as if your imperfections build you up. And then there's me, the master assassin, who's name makes people run away in fear rather than smile and look up to. My skill set is filled with killing techniques, unlike yours, which is designed to save." Steve spoke up then.

"Nat, what you did in the red room - you had no choice. They forced you to do these things. It's not your fault, it's the people making you do those stuff who are the monsters. I know about these kind of things, Nat. I had to convince Bucky, too, that he shouldn't be the one to blame and that his manipulator was the evil one," Steve paused, gathering his thoughts together. "And one thing for sure - you are definitely not the same person you were before. I've seen you rescue civilians and bring them to safety. Heck, you've rescued the other Avengers and me plenty of times! I know you think of yourself as a killing machine, but you actually do a lot more saving than killing. So next time you have a nightmare, don't let it take control of you."

I looked at Steve, and felt completely helpless. I wanted to tell him that I've tried, I've tried so hard to get rid of those nightmares, to be unconvinced by them. But looking in his cerulean eyes that were filled with such hope and support, I couldn't bring myself to tell him that.

"You know what? It's 1 am still, so how about you get some sleep again? You know that in the Avengers Tower, I always watched you fall asleep and stayed there for a while so that you don't get any nightmares," Steve said. He looked at me with concern and I sighed.

"Yeah okay, I'll try then. But you have to stay."
                                       ...
"Good morning Dad, good morning Natasha."

I blinked my eyes open to see a small figure standing in the doorway. I knew it was Sarah and panicked for a moment thinking, Crap. She saw me sleeping with her dad just two days after her mom left. She must think I'm crazy.

I sat up and roused Steve from his sleep.

"Rogers, wake up," I said in a quiet voice. Steve groaned and mumbled under his breath while
rubbing his eyes.

"I need some coffee," he said in a grumpy voice, and walked out lethargically to the kitchen. Sarah ran over and jumped on the bed next to me.

"So... are you going to be my new mom?" She asked for the second time, a smirk prominent on her round face.

I sighed and just chuckled softly.

"Why do you ask?" I questioned her, unable to answer her question without another question.

"Well... Daddy seems to really like you..." Sarah trailed off, looking pointedly at me and crossing her arms. Not quite knowing what that meant, I just raised an eyebrow.

"Guys! I made breakfast! The coffee has healed me!" Steve called from the kitchen. I smiled.

"Speak of the devil... let's go eat breakfast first."

Sarah followed me out, and we both widened our eyes to see the table set with perfectly-made pancakes, with a side toppings of various fruits. How'd he make it so fast? And so perfectly too...

"Steve! You should've told me you were making breakfast," I said, putting a hand on his back as he got out the silverware.

"It's fine, I wanted to treat you with my special pancake meal anyways." He flashed a white smile at me as I just shook my head. We casually chatted, heading back to the table with hands full of knives and forks, but I couldn't help but feel a certain pair of eyes burning into me while they watched Steve and me.

Hey guys, sorry it took me a long time to update. I was really busy with school and everything the past week. I also had a slight writer's block so... yeah. There was that. Anyways, I'm sorry if this chapter's a built dull compared to the others, but I promise I'll have something    better next chapter. (Rub hands together in a suspicious way)

I also, like probably any other Natasha Romanoff fan here, heard news that the solo Black Widow movie might be happening! Yay Nat! Yay ScarJo! (And if Steve doesn't come out in it, I may or may not burn a hole in the ground with my anger.) Back to my main point, I just want to congratulate those Marvel producers, directors, screenwriters, etc. for finally gaining their senses and putting a Black Widow movie into the works.

Anyways, I hope this fanfic will work out well for me and you guys. Like always - hail Romanogers!