It All Started With a Text.

Authors Note

This has nothing to do with the story but...

It's starting to be a new year less that eight hours. I wish I could say 2017 was good year but it wasn't. It's time I should share my story and open up. Please do not see this as an attention thing but maybe a cry for help? I'm not okay and I haven't been for a while. I have been dealing with DSS, which stands for Department of Social Services. They deal with any type of abuse with children and teens. I am fourteen years old and since I was younger than ten, I had been getting molested. I didn't want to really say anything because I knew that I would fall apart even more. I kept my mouth shut for so long and it sucked. I died every night and the only thing I could run to were either cutting myself or drinking and smoking. I didn't believe in hope or anything. I still don't and I will tell you why. It was on Thursday when I was called into the front office and I knew it was odd from the beginning because my mom worked. (I stayed with my because my mom and dad split up before I was born.) I didn't think much about it but I just followed along. I got into the front office and don't see anyone besides the lady at the front desk and another petite lady sitting in the chair. The woman behind the desk looked up and said "Can I help you?" And I told her that someone called me up and I told her my name. The lady stood up and shook my hand and told me her name. But she also stated that she was working with DSS. My fave kind of fail and I got this nervous feeling like I was about to lose the strength in my legs but I just smiled at her and ignored the sweat forming in my palms. She took me into a room in the front office and we sat down and she asked me questions. I was very confused and I started getting uncomfortable and asked what it was all about. "Someone reporter your step father touching you inappropriately." I processed the words she said and I blocked out everything and just went blank. I cried. I cried so hard and I don't know why. I was already cutting myself and not hopeful and loving of who I was. But after a month of coping with DSS, I couldn't handle it and tried to commit suicide and of course it didn't work. I got taken from my mom because she didn't do much after I tried. It hurt me because I need my mom more than father even if he does have money and food or anything my mom didn't have. I still stay with my for about three months now and it's hard. I haven't done well and I have an eating disorder. I barley eat and I just am so miserable. I wish I could just feel the little sense of happiness or maybe even love. I hope everyone has a great new year! I love you all!!!