Alex and Felix (LGBT) ✅

Part 17

Part 17

Things didn't go back to normal all at once.

Alex still found it difficult to be open about his sexuality, far too used to not talking about it, and it was weird to have everyone in his friendship group know about it and mention it. It was a safe environment, though, and he was reminded of that each day when nothing worse than gentle ribbing came his way. Slowly, but surely, he was trying to relax more. He wasn't in the countryside anymore.

He knew it was hard for Felix, too, but he was trying.

He kept his distance from Alex, letting him know he needed time and space to process everything, and Alex had given it to him. It couldn't be easy learning the straight guy he was in love was gay and had a boyfriend already.

It was funny, really, because Alex had wanted this to happen. Not in this manner precisely but, as a kid who no one had ever had a crush on, he'd imagined being part of a love triangle with him in the middle. It'd seemed exciting then, the idea of being desirable to not one but two people, and he'd been bitterly disappointed when he went through school with nothing like that happening. Now, though, he realised it wasn't how he'd made it out to be. There was nothing fun about his best friend being in love with him.

He sighed. It seemed all he did these days was hurt Felix.

"That sounded like a heavy sigh." Ellie said. "Penny for your thoughts."

"It's nothing."

"Is it Felix?"

Of course Ellie would know what was on his mind but, then again, he didn't think it was that hard to guess.

"Yeah," he said, with another smaller sigh, "it's Felix. I don't know what to do with him."

"Maybe there's nothing you can do."

"And isn't that the kicker."

Things weren't as bad as they had been a week ago but Alex was still aware that there was a slight, tangible divide between him and Felix. He wouldn't go so far as to say there were sides in the flat but, certainly, Scotty and Felix were hanging out with each other more than they were with Marcus, Ellie and Alex. They spent time together, sure, but there was an edge of tension in the room and it wasn't as comfortable as it had once been.

Ellie, he knew, would talk to Felix on her own but she'd never tell him what she talked about, and he had never asked. It didn't seem fair to put her in that position and, more than that, he was slightly afraid of the answer.

"Just give him time." Ellie said, as if it was an easy thing to just wait. "It'll be okay, I know it."

Alex wasn't so sure.

He was right to be uncertain, though he didn't realise the full extent of how far it went until Felix was sat in front of him and saying it to his face.

"You're doing what?" Alex demanded.

"I'm going to Thailand for a year to teach English." Felix said patiently, as if he'd expected this.

"But what about your degree?"

"The year abroad is part of the package the School of Humanities offers. Sure, it's normally the Languages students who take it up but anyone's allowed to do it if they take the required language modules." He shrugged. "I'll be taking Introduction to Thai over the January break and then Advanced Thai in second semester."

The fact he'd changed his timetable already told Alex just how many meetings he must have had with his personal tutor and how long he must have spent sending off the forms and working things out. He hadn't done this spontaneously, that was for sure, and Alex wondered just when he'd started the application process. If it had been a month ago, when they'd been at odds, did he still need to go through with it now they were okay?