Her Secrets {Doctor Who FanFic}

Was it All a Lie?

Running, always running. I had run from him when we first met, pushed him away in fear that he would reject me like everyone else. Just doing that brought pain to my hearts. In the end, he had accepted me, my past, my flaws, and my lineage. He was happy with me; we were happy. And then the war came. He was taken, to fight and I was left with a child, no older than 167. He was everything I had hoped for in a child, so much like his father. He was taken from me, my little Kiere, taken to fight in the war. I later learned he was killed. The pain I felt was unfathomable. Without him, I had no comfort. I ran, farther than I had gone. Without thinking of the consequences, not thinking of my love, I entered the darkness and allowed it to consume me.

I awoke in a cold sweat with tears inching down my cheeks. The pain I felt was worse than anything I'd experienced; it was a mother's grief. I curled into a ball, rocking back and forth, in a weak attempt to calm myself. I barely heard my room door open but when I felt strong arms holding me, I knew who had come to my side. I turned, faced him and buried my face into his chest. He was still in his suit, meaning he had been in the console room working on the Tardis. Neither of us spoke as he comforted me and soon my sobs dissipated into small gasps of breath. When I was finally calm enough, I started to pull away, only for his grip to tighten. "Doctor…"

"Shh. You're safe."

"He died. Kiere died and it's my fault."

He pushed me away a fraction of an inch but I nestled in closer. "How do you know that name? How is it your fault?"

"I'm sorry, Doctor."

"Cerys?" I ignored him, curling deeper into his embrace as the tears flowed freely. I couldn't stop them, not with the pain I felt. It was worse than anything I'd ever felt... almost as if a piece of my had died. "Please, talk to me."

"I can't. Why am I having these dreams? I don't want them."

"You're connected to her."

"To your dead lover? That's sick," I spat as I moved away from him, confused and suspicious. "What's the Tardis trying to do? What the hell are you playing at, Doctor?"

"You've had those dreams long before we met."

"I know but I don't know why."

"You're her. You are literally her." I stared at him, my expression hardening.

"If I were a… like you… I think I'd know."

"Not unless you used the Chameleon Arch."

"How…" I asked, trailing off as I shook my head. No, I wasn't that girl. I was Cerys, human and unordinary. I wasn't the person the Doctor pined for or loved. None of it made any sense.

"It changes your cells, makes you into whatever you want it to."

"And she… chose human."

"Yes."

"You've known all along, haven't you?"

"Since our fourth adventure, although it was the third that helped me realize it."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't. I had to be sure."

"So that's what you meant before you regenerated. All those things you did, and have done since, it's because you knew."

"I was hoping that we could have a much better relationship than we did on Gallifrey."

"Was it that bad?"

"No. Home, you were always in fear, always uncomfortable with yourself because of who your father was."

"She was…is… a half-breed."