One Last Time [Vauseman Fanfic]

9: Don't Say That This Didn't Hurt

Don't say that this didn't hurt,
I've cried all night,
And now it's your turn.

Things seemed to have a way of getting fucked up just as life seemed to be going right for Alex. Ever since she had met Piper Chapman things had gone from great to worse to even fucking worse and just as they were getting great again they plummeted back down. Alex sighed, running a hand through her hair as she tried to figure out what the hell to write to her cousin. It had been a week since Alex had received the letter about her aunt and she was fed up of putting this off. She never realised it would be so hard. She started off with the obligatory 'sorry' and 'things will get better' but then she had started to pour her heart out to her cousin about how she had coped, not so well, with the loss of her own mother but that her current frame of mind was proof to show that time made some of the hurt go away. Alex hoped that it was at least part truth. She felt bad for her cousin, having to go through this alone. Alex knew how hard it could be, even with the support of your family you still feel alone, like no one understands your pain. Alex spent an hour writing her letter before it was finally done, she put it in the envelope and placed it in / the mail pile. As she headed back towards her bunk she chewed on the inside of her cheek, thinking. Writing about her mother had made her realise she missed her more than ever, with Piper back in her life and some kind of future forming for the two of them she noticed that her mom had slipped her mind a little during all of this. Alex felt incredibly guilty about that and it must have shown on her face because all of a sudden Piper was there asking if Alex was okay.

Alex's brows shot up in surprise and she nodded, taking Piper's hand into her own and leading the two of them towards her bunk so they could sit down. "I was just thinking about my mom."

Piper nodded and waited for Alex to continue, knowing that her mom was a touchy subject for Alex. She squeezed her hand in encouragement.

"Well, really I felt a little guilty, you know?" Alex didn't wait for Piper to respond. "I was so wrapped up in thinking about our future together once we get out of this hell hole that I just completely forgot about her. I felt so fucking horrible about it, how could I forget about her?" Alex's voice was rising slightly now, indicating the stress she was causing herself.

"You're mom would understand, Alex. It's okay to not think about her all the time. Hell, I know she wouldn't want that, she loved you with every fibre of her being Alex and I know for a fact that the only thing she ever wanted was for you to be happy." Piper rubbed Alex's arm with her free hand in a soothing gesture, her words were calm and gentle but Alex could hear the truth behind them. Piper was right, her mom wouldn't want her to pine about her, she would tell her to get her shit together and move on with her life because the world doesn't stop spinning for anybody - no matter how fucked up their life is.

Alex smiled and let out a small chuckle, "I forgot that you met her. Jesus, how could I forget that." Alex shook her head a little at the memory.

"ALEX!" A loud scream erupted from the door of a large Victorian styled house. Alex sighed and shared a pointed look with Piper as she parked the car and heard her mother scream. It had taken them a few hours to drive to her mom's house in Ohio that Alex had bought her as an early birthday present about ten years ago.

"Jesus..." Alex muttered as she got out of the car, waiting for Piper to join her before walking up the drive.

Piper was unusually quiet and Alex could feel the nervousness practically oozing out of her girlfriend, she gave Piper's hand a gentle squeeze as she directed them towards her awaiting mother. Her mom didn't wait for them though and she sprinted from the door down towards them both and tackled Alex into a hug. Alex laughed, letting go of Piper to hug her mom enthusiastically. It had been far too long since Alex had last seen her mom, their weekly phone calls never did their relationship any justice. "Hey mom." Alex said warmly as she pried her mother off of her after a moment to draw her attention to Piper who was now watching Alex with a small smile on her lips. Alex realised that Piper had probably never seen Alex so composed and relaxed anywhere outside of their shared apartment in New York.