Kingsman: The Secret Service - Manners Maketh Man

Chapter 8

South Glade Mission Church, Kentucky, U.S.A

Harry sat inside the church, listening to the priest yell and scream at the top of his lungs. He had been sitting there for three hours already and his head was starting to throb from all the screaming.

"And I say to you... bear witness!" The priest screamed. "Watch the news. Watch the news. AIDS! Floods! The blood of the innocent, spilled! And yet, there are those who doubt this is the wrath of God." The people in the church yelled in agreement.

"Our filthy government condones sodomy, divorce, abortion! And yet, some still doubt this is the work of the antichrist!" More yells.

"You do not have to be a Jew, a nigger, a whore or an atheistic, science-loving evolution spouter..."

"Charming sermon." Merlin barged in. "Can you see Valentine anywhere?" Looking around, Harry sent him a message.

'No, he's not here.'

Meanwhile, in a small house that was close to the church, but not too close, were Valentine and Gazelle. Valentine was sitting on a chair with the briefcase in front of him while Gazelle was standing by the window. Gazelle turned to Valentine.

"Are you sure we're out of range?" She asked, a bit concerned. Valentine turned to her.

"We're over 1,000 feet away." He said. "What's wrong?"

"What if the calculations are wrong?" Gazelle asked. She didn't want to be affected herself.

"You just have to trust me." Valentine said.

Back at the church, the priest continued his scream-sermon.

"...Jew, nigger, fag lovers, and the devil is burning them for all eternity." Harry had enough. He turned to leave but became face to face with a blonde woman wearing a pink cardigan.

"Would you excuse me?" He asked. The woman turned to him with a stoic expression.

"Where are you going?" Harry didn't say anything and tried to get out, but the woman held his arm and pulled him back down. "Hey! What's your problem?"

Harry sighed and let himself go. "I'm a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic." He somehow felt satisfaction after seeing the woman's horrified expression. "So, hail Satan and have a lovely afternoon, madam."

Back at the small house that Valentine and Gazelle were in, Valentine noticed Harry starting to walk out of the church.

"Oh, shit. He's leaving. I'm starting the test now." He said before starting to turn the switch up. "Let's hope enough of these freaks have our SIM cards."

Back at the church, Harry was so close to the door and his ears were starting to ring. Between the yells of the priest telling him to sit down and the woman from earlier screaming horrifying things at him, his hand slowly went to his jacket and he found himself aiming his pistol at the woman's head.

At the back of his head, he was having a mental debate but before it could've been concluded, his hand decided for him and he shot the woman right in her head. Then chaos broke out.

After a while, with Valentine and Gazelle

Valentine had asked to switch places with Gazelle, due to not being able to stand blood. Gazelle, however, seemed impressed when she saw what was going on.

"I didn't expect it to be that effective." Gazelle spoke. Valentine gave her a look.

"What kind of response are we talking?" Gazelle turned to look at the live feed again. Everyone was beating each other up, even Harry, who Gazelle was sure didn't get a SIM card.