Loneliness and Constellations (ShiroXMatt)

Connection Through Constellations

As Matt Holt looked outside the window to see the brilliantly bright and gigantic balls of gas he used to admire from much farther away, he smiled fondly. At the memories, that threatened to fade in his mind.

Time was and is concept, and without being able to tell exactly how much had gone by, was somewhat agonizing.

But either way, it felt longer than it must have been since he got to enjoy the view of the night sky from a place he knew he could return to home from, and from a place he knew he could, in that moment, call home.

✨✨✨

"Matt, do you know what constellations are?" Pidge had asked him once.

"Of course I do, I mean if I'm ever gonna get into the garrison, I better know some things about space, right?" He responded, confident in his knowledge of space and both surprised and amused his younger sister would even doubt he would know.

"Can you tell me about them then?" She had asked shyly. She was a lot like her brother: geeky, smart, and curious. She also had an affinity to space, from the young age she had been when she questioned her brother, whom to her, was a big source of her knowledge.

And so it was that the night was spent by Matt pointing out every single constellation he could, telling the stories behind them, and telling Pidge all his extensive knowledge of them even if she couldn't quite understand all of what he was saying yet, before a brief interruption of their mother insisting it was too late to be awake on a school night. But then of course the two snuck outside for a few more hours before Pidge let sleep overtake her.

Carrying an innocent Pidge up the stairs and into her bedroom, he let his eyes wander over to the window at the night sky a final time before he to let sleep wash over him. He remembered, at that younger age, thinking that this was home. This is where he is supposed to be, and how he wanted it to be.

✨✨✨

"You know a lot about constellations right?"

The question was rephrased, this time the one asking was Matt, and this time a different kind of love was felt between the two.

Him and Shiro were sitting atop a hill that was too small, on a blanket that was too thin, on a night that was too cold. Yet, Matt wouldn't change it for the world.

"I mean I wouldn't say a lot, I honestly can only find the Big Dipper," He scratched the back of his head shyly.

"Geez Shiro, how are we going to go to space if you don't know your constellations?" He joked.

"Well geez Matthew I don't know, mind teaching me them about them then?" He laughed. (On that day Matt had discovered that his favorite sound was exactly this, a soft and sincere laugh from Takashi Shirogane.)

"If you insist Takashi," He grinned as he gave a similar lesson to the one of the night with Pidge to Shiro. And like Pidge, Shiro took in every word. But unlike Pidge, by the end of Matt's lecture he started to seem more distracted. It wasn't until Matt was done talking and had felt rough lips press against his own that he learned why.

And kissing a flustered Shiro on an imperfect night, the pure emotions of it. Had felt in that moment like home as well.

✨✨✨

Constellations, stars, space.

Are all he sees. And are his only connection to his physical sense and his emotional sense of home.