Conceited

Chapter Sixteen.

Shawn:

It was unbelievably hard to tell Carmen about my past. It was something I never wanted to relive. It hurt to finally talk about, but at the same time I felt relieved. I needed to get it off my chest. And it helped that Carmen was so understanding about everything. Though, that didn't mean it was easy for her to take it all in. I knew she was angry, sad, but also happy that I was finally free from them. I could tell from her body language, although I didn't catch too many glances at her since I was so caught up in my own emotions.

After everything that happened that day, I was so glad Carmen and I could relax together. I could still remember the tingles that ran down my spine as her lips kissed every scar. Her fingers tracing every welt. She did everything she could to show me that she loved me, even with all the scars, the flaws, the anger, the fucked up emotions, all of it. She made me feel less insecure, she showed me I could finally trust someone.

"Baby, are you okay?" I turned my attention to Carmen, who was posted between my legs, laying against my chest while my back sat comfortably against the arm of the couch.

"Yeah, I'm fin--" My phone began to buzz on the coffee table and I leaned forward to grab it.

"Hello." The line was silent for a while.

"Shawn." Chanel's broken voice filled my ear.

"Chanel, what's wrong baby gir--"

"I lied! I lied!" I pulled the phone away from my ear. My head was still pounding from all the crying, I didn't need her screaming in my ear.

"Lied about what girl?" Her sobs filled my ear and I cringed. I hated hearing her cry.

"Shawn, I'm sorry. I needed you at the time, I needed a reason for you to actually acknowledge me. I know it was wrong as fuck for me to lie about losing someone. But technically I didn't lie. I did lose someone; I lost you. Ever since you and that bitch Carmen got together, you just forgot about me. I need you just as much as she needs you, Shawn. What happened to you always having my back? What happened to you always being there? It all went out the fuckin' window as soon as she stepped into the picture; that's what fuckin' happened." I stayed silent. I was fuckin' pissed. She obviously took my silence as me being speechless and continued. "I just miss you, Shawn.. I'm sorry."

I shook my head in disbelief. I couldn't believe she had lied to me. There was never a reason that someone should lie about some serious shit like that. But I couldn't help but understand where she was coming from. I had been dissin' her at the beginning of Carmen and I's relationship; always coming up with reasons why I couldn't make it. Until she just stopped asking. She stopped calling me, texting me. Everything stopped, and I hadn't even noticed it until a few days back when she came over crying.

"What the fuck, Chanel? Who lies about shit like that?" She continued to sniff, while my yelling caused Carmen to look up at me. 'Whats wrong?' She mouthed to me. I shook my head in reply and focused on Chanel's voice.

"I know. It was stupid. I'm just not used to not having you around Shawn. And before I could tell you that it wasn't true, Carmen's bitch ass came running in the room screaming and shit." She sighed. I could still hear her light sobs and I began debating or whether or not I wanted to forgive her.

"Chanel. Fine, I forgive you. But don't EVER pull some shit like that again! If you miss me, just tell me that. You scared the shit out of me girl." Her breathing hitched before I heard a soft squeal. And that made me smile.

Even though Chanel had lied about something so serious, I knew that if she had told me she was crying that hard because she missed me I wouldn't have comforted her the way I did. I couldn't even lie. I missed Chanel like crazy. The more Carmen pushed me away with all the working, the more I wanted to spend time with Chanel.

We talked about it for a while; the whole time Chanel crying. She kept apologizing, begging me to forgive her. She told me she would make it up to me. And I believed her. I had, had enough drama over the last few days. All I could do was forgive her and move on. I was physically and mentally exhausted. All I wanted to do was ball up on my bed and be alone for a while.

I still had a couple of hours until I had to go to work but I just didn't have the energy to go.

"Hola."

"Aye, Rico." I could tell he was behind the bar from the clanking glasses, and loud ass music.

"Shawn! Baby! Wassup?" I smiled lightly at his excitement. I had always known that I was Rico's favorite. Mostly because women would line against the bar, just for the fact that they knew it was my shift; which meant more money for Rico to roll in. The other bartenders barely payed the women any mind. Which meant they weren't getting the attention they wanted. But with me, I would always play their little game.

"Rico, I'm not gonna be able to make it today or Saturday. I haven't been feelin' well man." I hear him sigh.

"It's no problem, Shawn. You can those days off. Only because you're my favorite! I hope you feel better. I gotta go." The line went dead.

"Shawn. What the hell happened?" She looked worried. But I didn't want to talk about anything else.

"Just lay with me. Please.." My shoulders dropped. I had never felt so vulnerable. All I needed was her touch. All I needed was her.

She came over and laid on my chest once again. This time she slipped her hand up my shirt drawing small circles against my skin. I relaxed.

"I love you." The words slipped through my lips before I had the chance to fully acknowledge what I was saying. She froze, and I cringed. My heart suddenly dropped to my stomach. I was absolutely terrified of what she was about to say. But I couldn't hold it in anymore. I was absolutely in love with this girl.

Silence filled the room and all I could do was hope that she felt the same way.

Alright, I hope you guys enjoyed. Some of my personal friends read this book and they absolutely hate Chanel. Tell me what you think? Do you think Carmen will say it back? Do you think Shawn really loves Carmen? Let me know. More to come. To be continued ... ;)