The Struggles of Being a Teenage Wife

Chapter 6

Zach sits next to me on the couch. The highlights from the fight I had with my mom weeks ago still cloud my mind, among other things. I've gotten used to his presence now though. Maybe I only got nervous around him because he was relatively new and I'm not used to boys, much less living with one.

His arm grazes against mine, and it tingles. Does he get affected by any of this? I take my earlier statement back: I'm not used to him. I don't think I ever will be.

"I think this is the first time we've had a break together in a weeks," he says softly. I look up at him and he adjusts his glasses.

"Yeah, it's been crazy, especially after the press release." He sighs in frustration.

The Infamous Press Release was sent days after the phone call argument with my mom, and it was our official announcement of both our appointments as CEOs and as newlyweds. Reporters have been camped outside the apartment building, the aquarium and Remlor. It's the latest juicy gossip, and magazines want exclusive interviews and photoshoots and wedding talk and it's overwhelming and unnecessary. They're trying to spin around the clearly stated loveless and arranged marriage into something to root for, like the American version of Kate and William. It's embarrassing, but Zach and I have been able to joke about it together sometimes. We are the only ones who understand what we're dealing with, after all.

"They think you're so brave because you married me so young," he says, looking down at his hands. My eyes don't stray from his now sad face.

"You sacrificed a lot too. I'm not the victim here."

"Do you think of me as someone who stopped you from finding the love of your life?"

Wow. Has he been harboring guilt for the past month?

"Do you look at me and see someone who stopped you from finding the love of your life?" Without much thought, I place a few fingers on his arm, not brave enough to place my whole hand for comfort.

"No. On the contrary actually, I think I--" He looks at me now but stops. He clears his throat. "Have you ever been in love?"

I wondered when he's ask me something like this, we've talked about most things except any romantic relationships, which in my case is a big fat zero.

"No."

"Do you think you'll ever fall in love?"

"Like, with--with... you?" His eyes widen and I regret roping him in like that. He blushes though, something I haven't really seen yet from charismatic Zach.

"Well, maybe, or just--with anyone. Just, fall in love. Do you believe in that?" He seems nervous, waiting for my answer.

Fall in love with anyone? As in we'd sort of cheat on each other? Or divorce at some point? Even though I didn't want this marriage in the first place, somehow the thought of this ending makes me sad. I think I'd miss his company, his presence, his kind words.

"I want to believe in it, it's just hard to believe in something you don't know anything about. I think I might fall in love, it's just something that's not on my mind right now." I can't even begin to imagine dating someone new and falling in love, not when I'm a newlywed and I'm dealing with my mom and Remlor and October in general.

"I'm sorry for all the questions," he sighs.

"That's ok," I assure.

"How are you, Emma?" He's looking at me again.

"Fine," I lie, "why?"

"I know the anniversary of your father's and grandfather's death is coming up." His hand rests on my knee for comfort, but no amount of physical touch can really comfort me during this month.