One Hundred Sleepless Nights With Him

Day.45

Jade's pov

Everything had been weird after that nightmare. It was like Jeff was constantly watching me but also he left late at night almost every night. He wouldn't come back until late and then he would seem off. He'd be relaxed but still somehow tense. I'm worried about him but I don't know how to address it.

The static voice came more frequently to now coming in a few times a day. It would check up on Jeff and see how he was doing. The topic of me would only show up last minute late at night which only strengthened my worry. The conversation mostly consisted of how Jeff was feeling. They started sounding more and more like therapy session and it felt wrong listening to them.

Then there was me. Everytime I was able to sleep the opposite me would visit. She would remind me that I'm crazy that I felt the need to kill. Jeffrey would come too but he'd be covered in blood as I held a knife. When I was awake the voice was more active. It would get riled up by the smallest things. I was scared of what might happen if I listened to some of the things it said.

Jeff was gone now out doing whatever it was that he did when he was out of the house. Over the past few days I had used my time with him to distract myself. It worked... Sometimes... Sometimes I couldn't hear the voice or it would just be a nagging feeling as I talked with him. I think he knows that I'm trying to fight off the voice because we have long though provoking conversations.

It was when he was gone like he is now that the voice really speaks. I've my tried my hardest to not listen but it's not like I can hide from it. There's really nothing I can do and lately it seems like it's working with my depression. When it's not telling me to kill something it's telling me about how everyone leaves me and that Jeff will too.

'He's probably out so much because he can't stand you. You stress him out'.

' If I really stressed him out why am I still here. He could just release me and we could both go back to our lives', I try to ignore how much the thought of him releasing me hurts.

I mean he kidnapped me I'm technically being held here against my will. Yet I don't want to leave, I like it here in his cottage in the middle of nowhere. It didn't feel like I was kidnapped and it almost felt like I was spending time with a friend. I know that's not right to think of the person who kidnapped me as a friend but when I think about it he gave me a choice the whole way. He asked me to meet him, he asked me if I would stay with him, and I chose to.

'You chose to because you're crazy, because you're just like him. No you're worse you want to kill people.'

'No I don't want to hurt anyone.'

'But you do and you know it so stop denying it. You're being pathetic.'

The sound of the front door opening and closing causes me to smile slightly. He's back. I give him a few minutes not wanting to bother him when he's just gotten back. Afraid that it really is my fault that he's out so much that I annoy him. Maybe I shouldn't even go out there. But without me having any say in the matter a knock sounds on my door and selfishly I say "come in". 

His dark hair was a mess and his eyes were bloodshot with pupils dialated. The white hoddie he always seemed to be wearing was crumpled. In short he looked a mess. Yet still I found myself admiring his pale skin and the contrast between it and the red smile cut into his skin. The way his hair still look good even though it was a mess. I don't know why I decided at this moment to start noticing all the things I liked about his appearance but I didn't like it.

"-so uh sorry" is all I hear as I come back down from my weird thoughts.

"I'm sorry I wasn't um I didn't hear you" I say sheepishly. God I was already making him talk to me the least I could do was listen.