You and I

I'm fucking gay.

Ian's POV

I fucked up.
Even after all this time, I still love him.
I'm with Trevor now, so I have to move on. I love Trevor, he is good for me and he loves me too. I can't leave him again.
But why do I feel wrong for "loving" him.
I came straight home and now I'm sitting on my table thinking.
"Yo what the fuck Ian! You left me at the club!" Trevor comes barging in.
Shit i left him at the club.
"Shit! I'm sorry , I totally forgot. I got really sick and I left. I am so fucking sorry."
"It's fine. But are you okay, you look really pale."
"I'm fine." I'm not fine, I'm broken.
"You sure?"
No. "Yeah"
He come to sit next to me.
"I'm so tired." Thank God he dropped it.
"Yeah me too."
"Let's go to bed." He grabbed my hand and led me up stairs.
Once we were upstairs, he closed the door and made his way towards me. He straddle my lap and began to kiss me.
I lay him on the bed, while still kissing him. He took off my shirt while I took off his pants.
We undressed each only stopping to catch our breaths.
Right when we were about to have sex I have a flash back of Mickey.
Flashback
I can do this.
Just go in there and tell him to give me cash's gun back.
I get a crowbar and walk inside the house.
I enter Mickey's room.
I jab him with the crowbar.
"What the..?" Mick rubs his eye
"I want the gun back micky."
"Gallagher?" He says.
"The gun!"
"Alright, alright-"
He grabs me and throws me at the wall,
We start fighting...but then i get an erection.
WHAT THE FUCK?!
We fight for a short time and then he straddles me, god his panting sounds so hot.
He takes off his shirt and take mine off.
We fuck.
And holy shit
Its never like I've ever felt before.
End of flashback
Trevors lays on top of me, he looks pleased, while I'm filled with guilt. I came....but
With the thought of mickey.