No Hope for the Hopeless

No Hope

A thick black pool of disaster falls around my pitiful life of hopeless dreams and desires that will never be fulfilled. The hopes of being able to express the real person that I feel like I am. One who has the confidences of a small flower about to bloom and the tolerance of little to nothing? Staring at every crack and flaw that is shown and presented to the school walls that are never given a second thought unless needed of repainting. Looking at every detail of how far some cracks and punch marks have gone into this lonely wall.

My mind is turned to reality when I look down at my desk with a simple test sheet in front of me. I finally realised we were meant to complete this in the given time, which was far from me doing it now. Rocking my chair back onto the wall I stare at my beloved friend, Tal. She was going to pass this in no hesitation or effort involved, but she really was a perfect person in this world. Kind, smart, funny, the list could go on about out the many reasons why she has better qualities that I would ever have.

Ring! Ring!

"Okay students! Place your sheets on my desk. Class dismissed." Mr. Smith had announced to the class. Great I thought as I handed up my empty sheet with my name presented neatly in all its glory. "Jane, mate" I was called as I placed my sheet down, it was Tal with her extra cheerful expression. "Talia, I expect great things from your results." Mr. Smith had expressed his expectations to my friend. "Tried my best sir!" Tal had replied as she started walking with me out of class.

"Gezz, that test gave me so many bad vibes, I just wanted to fade away into nothingness" Tal had deeply sighed as I nodded. "Honestly, why do they give us such tests on the last week of school! What demons make us do such things?" I had giggled at her statement. "I didn't even touch it but it sounded 'fun'" I had started, as she looked at me a bit worried. "The test was worth at least half our grade for the year. You sure you don't want to talk to sir and try and redo the test?" Tal looked at me very concerned as I shrugged it off. "Grades aren't really that important to me so it shouldn't really bother me that much." I had said effortlessly, walking to my locker.

Tal lean on the edge of my locker, observing my actions as I put my books away and replaced it with my sad lunch that consisted of an apple and water. Closing the door, she become more worried looking as she glared down at my wrist. "Problem?" I had questioned as she was becoming more suspicious by the minute. Grabbing hold of my wrist and pulling the sleeve of my blue jumper up, she was welcomed to an unpleased sight of self-harm scars that had looked to be recent. "Jane, I thought we talked about this. Didn't we say you weren't going to do this anymore?" Tal was trembling and shaking, as the vibration was felt from my wrist.

"It's not like that." I had simply said as I closed my locker and started walking of without her. A sharp pain in my heart pinned out as I had felt her hand grab hold of mine. "But it is. I knew that it wouldn't be easy anymore when the constant bullying had happened. Still, I'm always going to be concerned about you, no matter what you intend to do to yourself." At this point Talia was now on the cold hard dirty school floors.

We were now both alone in the school corridor. Silence was around us, no soul to be heard but the sorrow of my best friend. I finally slipped her hand off my wrist, turning back to her. "You don't care about me or my mental health. Leave me be!" Filled with anger, I had yelled at her dying corpse like body. I ran after that, no goodbyes or answers. My body was completely numb to any feelings but the flowing of the small breeze as I ran to god knows where. Why? I had still questioned this. My best friend for many years I have known her, yet I am running away? I'm afraid, she'll be hopeless again like back than but I can't stop myself from running.

Talia Point Of View

Why is she running? My best friend, I don't understand why you are doing this? My limps were numb and my heart was filled with an endless void of pain. My sunflower dress that was my favorite is only left with as a blanket of tears at this moment. I understood why she would still be left with this emptiness and discourage to continue living but still. Knowing how she could simply end it with no hesitation was heart breaking. Having many other qualities other than how people view your appearance shouldn't make you so suicidal. "But of course you can't hear me..." I cried silently to myself, putting my head gently on the hard floor. "I'm such a coward. A stupid coward." I silently whispered to myself as I stood up, walking in the opposite direction of Jane.

Jane didn't turn up to school neither the next day nor the day after. We were told one sunny day that she had committed suicide. Hanged herself to be more exact. I felt like throwing up my breakfast at the moment of Jane's mum telling me. My mouth was dry yet I only managed to say one word in responds before hanging up the phone. "Oh." A simply word but with a deeper meaning of disbelief. My shaky hands were placed on my sweating face of shock but I couldn't feel the tears running down. I didn't feel sad in anyway possible. Had my emotions shut down completely? But I was soon given an answer as I smiled. "I did it." I laughed. "She's finally gone. I killed her." Laughing at my own sinful work, I was happy yet in so much more pain.

The End

(Well that was edgy but i got an A for this so000o that's pretty good)