Ren and Resistance

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"There you are."

Rey looked up and saw a man in a brown jacket walking towards her. "Finn," she said, turning her gaze back to the flickering fire in front of her. Its light lit up the little cave carved in the dark grey rock and bounced off the walls.

"I figured I might find you here," he said kneeling and putting his palms towards the heat of the flames.

"We really are on the edge of the universe, aren't we?" she looked up to the stars scattered across the sky outside the cave mouth.

"Nah," he smiled, "just the galaxy."

Silence hung between them. He moved to sit next to her, "What's wrong, Rey?"

"I'm fine," she shook her head.

"It's been a year since Crait."

"I know."

"Three months since the Gen... " his voice caught on the word; he cleared his throat, "since Leia died."

She nodded.

"I'm worried, Rey," he said, "and it's not just me. Poe, Rose, Chewie, even BB and R2. You can't spend this much time alone and not go loopy."

She felt an angry flush creep up her neck. "I spend all day with you and the others, rebuilding, combing through these Force forsaken rocks for resources, and in holo negotiations with you, Commander Dameron, and our allies talking strategy."

"Meetings where you stand in the back looking menacing ... Not that we don't appreciate our intimidating Jedi beacon of hope and scowling."

She grunted.

"And then you spend your nights off on your own, or go straight back to your quarters. Rose has heard it, you know. You crying to yourself."

Dammit, Rose! She thought. "I spend my nights studying," she slammed the ancient bound leaves of parchment shut and stood, "so that I can face," she caught her breath, "Kylo, and bring an end to all of this." Her voice grew louder, "And in case you haven't noticed, we've all lost something to get to this point, so if you don't mind keeping yourself out of how other people deal with it."

He stood, "Yeah, we've all lost something. But not like you. Something happened in that battle. It's like you've lost part of your soul."

Maybe she had. "You wouldn't understand."

"Maybe not, but none of us are gonna make it through all this if we don't at least try to help each other."

Her vision turned red. "I said, you wouldn't understand," she screamed. When her sight came back into focus, she saw Finn lying on the ground at the back wall of the cave. She looked down and saw that she was holding her lightsabre in her hand -- its double ended blades activated and casting a silver hue across the cave. "Finn!" she gasped, deactivating and dropping her weapon. She ran over to him, "What did I do?"

He panted. "You used the force to throw me against the wall." He stared at her, "I've never seen that look in anyone's face ... except," his voice trailed off. He grabbed her hand, "Rey, I know that there are a lot of things I don't understand. But whatever you have to do to fight it, you do it. You hear me? The galaxy, the resistance, we all need you. Don't become like him."

A pang shot through her chest. She gripped his hand. "I know. I won't."  She helped him to his feet.

She left him at the medical wing of the cavern system.

"I'm ok," he had tried to reassure her. But she had insisted.

Walking back to her bunk, a terrible twisting feeling had settled in her gut. How could she have done that? She leaned against the wall. "I wish you were here," slipped out from between her lips. She believed she was talking to Leia, or Luke. Had to believe it. After lingering there a moment longer, she walked the rest of the way back to her quarters and pushed aside the length of material that served as the door. 

Rey set the book on a shelf cut into the stone. There were several other volumes placed neatly there, all tattered and made of the same parchment. She curled up into the pillow, blankets, and straw mattress on one side of the cave that served as her bunk. Then the tears slipped down her cheeks again. She held her hand over her mouth so as to muffle the sobs that racked her body.

***

His back stiffened. A presence behind him broke his attention away from the datapad in his hand. The fabric of his loose satin trousers swished as he got up from his desk. There, by the window that looked out to the innumerable star systems passing by, lay a figure clutching several coarsely woven blankets around themselves. He didn't need to see their face to know who it was.

"Rey..." he breathed. It really was her. After all this time. Again he recalled her face upon leaving that wretched red planet. Defiant and determined then. Now broken, no shattered, and aching. What had happened? Who had done this? 

He crossed the room like a jackal approaching a wounded lion, and knelt beside her. "Rey, it's me."

She kept sobbing as before.

"Rey, it's me," he tried again, "Rey, please, can you hear me?"

She made no indication that she could.

He placed his bare hand over the one of hers that was gripping the blankets. She was barely solid. "Can you feel me?" He had no way of knowing. Sitting down, he watched her. His breathing became strained. "How can I make it go away?" he asked, in spite of being fairly certain now that she was deaf and blind to him. He tried to put more pressure around her hand, "It's ok. You don't have to cry," he said. "I'm here. I'll find you. I'll make you see."

Her form faded from his view.

He pulled his hand away and sat back. Staring out the window into the dark expanse that was pitted with twinkling pinpricks, he finally whispered, "I promise."

***     









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