Goodbye - Hotchniss [OneShot]

Please be safe.

"Emily."

Rossi's voice forced her out of her thoughts. She swallowed thickly, giving her best to hold back the tears that were slowly and painfully filling her eyes.

"Is everything alright?"

"Sure", she choked. This was probably the biggest lie that had ever left her mouth, but she told herself to keep it together. She was Emily Prentiss, and Emily Prentiss was always alright.

"It's about Hotch", Rossi had said that morning as she had entered his office. She had noticed the look on his face, and she had immediately known that something had gone wrong on his search after Peter Lewis. Nevertheless, the hopes living inside of her had been up high. Too high.
There had to be a way to help him, no matter with what.
She would never let him down. One would never let the person they loved down.

And she loved him, she always had.

"He's not coming back. Never."

These words were still echoing in her head. He would never come back. Aaron Hotchner had disappeared from her life, without any word, without any sign, without anything. She still couldn't believe that this was happening, that it was reality.

This was totally not the way she had imagined her come-back. She had expected him to be there, to wrap his strong arms around her and tell her how much he had missed her so she could return the same to him.

But he hadn't been there, he had already been gone and Rossi had explained everything to her. Mr. Scratch, or Peter Lewis or whatever you wanted to call him. Emily had already tried and had read through all of the files which included information on him, but she had found nothing. Of course she hadn't, she had always been the best at her job with him together. And now, she was alone.

"I think we should tell the team", Rossi said carefully. Little did he know what was on her mind in that moment, but he could easily tell that something was not right.

"Yea", she whispered, looking down again. "We should."

-

It had been the worst 20 minutes of her life. Her faked death and her lonely time in Paris were nothing in comparison to the conversation with her team. The way she had tried to smile, to act confident and to not let anyone see how she was internally breaking with every word she spoke.

And there she was, sitting alone in their conference room. She was shivering and cold, but she was certainly not shivering because of the coldness.

They had all begged her to take the job and she knew that even though she had said that she had to think further about it, they were expecting her to stay. She loved the team, yes, but what was this team without him? What was she without him?

She had missed him every day in London, and their late-night conversations on the mobile phone had practically kept her alive. It had kept him alive, too, but they had never told each other. They had no idea how the other felt, even though it was obviously the same.

Emily's eyes kept staring into nothing, he head unable to think clearly with all these questions on her mind. Would she ever see him again?

It was not like she didn't understand him, she did, probably the best from all of them. She knew how much Jack had to be protected, and she knew how much Hotch blamed himself so much for spending so less time with him. She had always told him that he was an amazing Dad and that Jack loved him, but Aaron Hotchner wouldn't be Aaron Hotchner without any self-doubts.

He was blaming himself right then, for letting Jack get involved in this case, for taking away his usual life, for taking him the last part of home after Haley had died. She knew he did because she would have done the same in his position.