This book deals with struggles of suicide and being accepted for being transgender, gay, and different. If you are uncomfortable with those topics, please don't read this story.
I stared at the sketch I had drew. Was this a good idea? I mean, it is who I am... Right?
"Hey, Kyle." I heard a monotone voice greet from behind me. I turned my head, and saw that it was Craig. I smile at him, and he brushes his hand through my wavy hair. He sat next to me, and picked up the paper I had sketched on. I saw him crack a smile.
"Is this suppose to be you, Kyle?" He asked. I nod my head shyly. Craig was one of the only people who knew my secret. Only him and Stan knew. I told Stan my secret as soon as I was sure of it, I mean I had to. He's my best friend. As for Craig, I told him purely on the intend on asking him for advice about the situation. Even though he didn't have experience with exactly what I decided, but he knows how it is to be different from everybody else.
He admires the sketch I drew more, before I interrupt him. "Do you think I'll get in trouble for this?" I asked, and he just scoffs at my question. "No, it's a self portrait. If that's how you view yourself, then you should be fine. Go show it to Ms. King." He demanded. Craig was always constantly annoyed with me in these kind of situations... But could you blame me? It's not exactly normal here in Colorado.
I contemplated finishing the sketch for a bit, but I decided just to hurry and color it since the class would be ending soon. I finally finished my self portrait, but I was still contemplating on turning it in. I turn to look at Craig, and he just gives me a raised brow.
"What, Craig? I don't want to get a zero on the assignment... It would ruin my GPA." I told him. Craig sighed at me, and snatched the paper from my desk and got up from the chair. "Hey! Be careful with that!" I yell, following him. He quickly ran across the room to Ms. King's desk, and placed the paper in front of her. "That's Kyle's." He told her.
Before I could take the paper back, Ms. King quickly swiped it up and looked at the portrait. She looked up to me with raised eyebrows. "Kyle, is this how you view yourself?" She asked, showing me the portrait I drew.
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I took a big gulp as I looked at the portrait. "Um, yes ma'am. If you don't like it I could-"
"Enough." She interrupted me. I give her an awkward look, and she just rolls her eyes at me. She quickly, scribbled something on the paper, and I felt my heart drop.
She gave me back the paper, and I sat at my desk, staring at what she wrote. "What did she say?" Craig asked.
"She gave me a hundred." I told him. It honestly shocked me. Are people more accepting than I thought?
"I told you there was nothing to worry about." Craig rolled his eyes. I scoff at him. Obviously I didn't think that Ms. King of all people would have given me a hundred for my work. I quickly shove the sheet into my binder, hoping that nobody would see it.
"Are you doing anything after school?" Craig asked me.
"Not really, I was just going to study." I told him.
"Come over to my place. I want to do your make up." He confesses. I jumped back slightly. "Craig, what if your mom sees?" I asked.
He rolled his eyes again at me. "She won't care. I use to do Tweek's when he was over." He told me. Right... Tweek.... It's been a long time.
"That's different. What if my mom finds out?" I ask him. "She'll kick me out, that's what will happen!" I freak out. Craig rolled his eyes again. "Stop. Just don't tell her. Even if she does, she can't kick you out. It's illegal." Craig points out. I started freaking out more. "With parent consent, I can move out at 16! Craig, there is NO WAY I'm coming out to my mother." I told him. He rolled his eye again. "Why can't you just tell her? I told my parents when Tweek and I started dating." He points out.
"My mother is nothing like yours. She is Jewish, god dammit! She's just going to tell me that I should love my body the way it is." I explain to him.
"Kyle, your mom was supportive of me. Why wouldn't she support her own son?" He asked.
He doesn't understand... this is different. His situation is being interested in men.... Mine is being interested in men as well as changing my entire gender. I would have to ask my mother to pay for pills... I would have to ask for surgery... Which I don't plan on doing anytime soon in fear of not getting anymore love from my mother.
"Kyle, just come over. After I'm done, we can just wipe off the make up, it's no big deal." He offers. He can just wipe it off, right. I didn't think about that. I've always wanted to see what I would look like with make up. I've never been able to though... I would never do it at home in fear that somebody would walk in. I wanted to try Shelly's make-up, but she notices everything. She even noticed when I used one of her hand-sanitizers.
I take his offer.
Thank you so much for reading the first chapter! Make sure to add this story to your favorites for updates! Also: This story was requested by jorja_foster_neko. Make sure to check out her story "The Neko Boy". If you are wanting to make a request for a short story, please comment on my book "South Park Short Stories."
