Better Than Revenge

Have you ever wanted something so much and when you finally got it, you realize you don't want it?

That's how this feels.

For five long years, I've waited for this moment to happen. I wanted to make you feel all the pain you've caused me. You were my first love, but you didn't love me back. I was okay with that. I was content with loving you from a far, giving you gifts and cheering you on. I was so naive for ever thinking you'd feel the same way. But what hurt the most was the fact that you agreed with and supported the plan your friends orchestrated. You probably don't remember what happened, but I do. I remember every bit of it. I remember the cruel laughs, insulting words, and mocking looks of everyone in that crowd. 

I swore to myself that I'd get back at you for everything. That's why I left and changed myself. I changed how I looked, shed so much of my weight, grew my hair long, changed my entire wardrobe - just to become your ideal girl.

When I finally saw you again, I suddenly forgot all my plans. I forgot about all the pain, but I was jolted back into reality when you smiled at me. That toothy mischievous grin of yours was the same one you gave me 5 years ago when it all happened. All the pain came rushing back, and I knew right there and then that I had to push through with everything. 

But now, I'm in the middle of a crossroad. As days, weeks and months went by, it was as if my plan backfired. I fell for you again, hard. Now I have to choose, do I break your heart or go for something better than revenge?