My heart beat, His Heart Beat

August 5th 20XX

      I haven't written in my Journal in forever, haven't I? The last time, I've made an entry was when I was contemplating my existence in my teenage bull crap. But that was in May.  

     So, the reason why I haven't written in here is because of... him. My next door neighbor. I hate him. He always annoys  me. So, after school was out for the summer, he'd crawl over the wall that separated our yards and pester me while I was outside. 

     He'd talk to me and I'd talk to him, and we learned more about each other. Frankly, I began hating him less, it turned out that he was really sweet, and kind, artistic, even. I even found out that he played the violin. One day he came over with it, and we played a duet, me on the piano, he on his violin. It was around then, on that hot July day, that I was completely in love with him. 

      Every day I grew more fond of him, I started freaking out. How would I tell him? I thought he'd be just like the other boys. I didn't want to destroy our friendship just like that... Honestly, I cherished it. No one has ever really connected with me like this, and no boy ever had the time of day like he did. I knew I was being stupid, falling for him just because he was kind to me... I was afraid of being hurt, so I pushed him away. I didn't laugh as much, we didn't talk as much... touch as much. He, of course, noticed. I think I hurt him even more than I realized. 

     He constantly asked if I was feeling well, and I always brushed him off. I think that I was afraid of the feelings that I developed. He is a lot like a bug of some sort. Because  no matter how hard I tried, my feelings for him grew even more. OKay... I love him. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH THAT IT HURTS. 

   Then, one day, I couldn't stand it any more. I ran from him, I kept running and running, but that idiot wouldn't stop following me. When he caught me he asked me, "Why are you running!? Have I hurt you?" "Please tell me, it hurts me too much to see you like this." At this point I was sobbing, like a baby. I resolved that it was now or never. I had to tell him. "It's because I'm an idiot... I-I fell in love... with you." I muttered. He just stared at me. This is usually the part where my heart breaks. But, this time, I was drawn into a hug.

   "I was waiting for you to tell me that." He had whispered into my ear. I had begun crying again. I was so happy. He loved me. He accepted me. 

   "I'm sorry." I said into his sweatshirt. 

   "It's okay." He said.

    And I truly believed it