Nothing Left to Lose

Chapter One

The drop off at Stanstead Airport is hectic. People everywhere, hugging, panicking about whether or not they left their door unlocked. My mum stops the car and keeps her hands on the wheel and stares directly in front of her. "Mum. Mum." My words seem to break her out of her daydream. "Sorry Theo, I just had a moment there." She tells me, with a husky voice, almost at the point of tears. We both get out of the car and I open the boot, my suitcases seem heavier as I lift them out and place them on the pavement. My Mum comes to stand next to me. "Are you sure you have everything? Passport? Ticket? Phone charger? A book to read? Snacks for the plane? Your walle..." "Mum!" I cut her off halfway through. "I have everything I need, now please stop worrying." She bursts out in tears which makes me well up, I will always be a mummy's boy no matter what. My Mum has brought me up as a single parent and I don't know what I would do without her around. I guess I'm going to have to get used to it now since I'll be living in America. I pull my Mum into a hug as if I'm telling her that it's going to be okay. She holds me tightly for a few minutes. "I love you Theo. I'm so, so proud of my little boy." She says still choked up a bit from crying. "I love you too Mum. Just remember it won't be too long before you come over to visit me." I tell her softly, calming her down. The sounds of planes above me makes me look at the time. "I need to go and check my bags in now Mum. Don't forget that I love you." I say to her which sends a tear rolling down my face. "I know sweet pea. Don't forget that I love you too and make sure you call me when you're there safely."

Walking away from her was the hardest thing I have ever done, screw A Levels, leaving a loved one behind is the hardest. I walk towards the check in desk and wait in line. When I'm finally called forward, I give the lady my passport, my two suitcases are loaded up to the conveyer and I'm left with just my backpack. As per, security is a nightmare, it seems like they are stopping everyone for something and I pray to myself that they won't stop me. "Sir. Please come here, I need to pat you down." The security man says to me after I pass through the detector. "Is this really necessary? I have no metal on me whatsoever." I reply in pissed off tone. He shoots daggers at me which scares me a little. I lift my arms up and let him pat me down. What a surprise, I didn't have anything. I move back to the conveyer belt and take my backpack from it and pick up my brand-new MacBook that my Mum gave me. She works hard for the life she's given me and I didn't expect even once to get it. I still have an hour until my flight so once I'm into the departure hall I seek out the one place that I love. Starbucks. I order my usual venti caramel macchiato. With my coffee, I sit down on one of those airport seats that aren't comfortable, but aren't unbearable to sit on. As I drink, I think back to earlier in the year with my friends. We would go to Starbucks together and study for our exams. It all seems like years ago now and so much has changed. Some got into university, some took apprenticeships and some have just put things off for a little while. We all had one last big blow out before the end of the summer. It took me days to clean up my house, but my Mum was far from mad, she wanted me to be young and a little reckless. My thoughts are disturbed by an announcement about my boarding gate, I immediately get up and head off to the direction of the gate. It takes forever to get to, but I don't care, I'm getting closer to being in America and starting my new life.

The plane feels cold as we ascend further into the air. I'm only an hour into my 11-and-a-half-hour journey to the states. I find myself becoming restless which I can't help. I don't like planes. I watched Snakes on a Plane once, the film with Samuel L. Jackson, and it scared the shit out of me, I told my Mum that I wasn't going to Spain with her that year and she had to sit me down and tell me that they don't allow snakes on board a plane. Still shat me up though. I take the book that I brought with me and look at the cover. My Life with the Walter Boys by Ali Novak. I always did love a bit of girly teen fiction as much as the next gay guy. Oh yeah, I am GAY. Not that it should matter, but still. I begin to read the first lines. Next thing I know, I'm more than halfway through the damn thing and I still have seven hours left on this mother fucking plane. Didn't mean to quote Snakes on a Plane, but what the hell. I mark my page and return the book to my bag. In my pocket, I pull my earphones out and untangle them, plug them in and play my favourite song 'Robbers' by The 1975. There's something about the song which I find relaxing and I just sink into my seat and let Matt Healy's voice take over my head.

Well it turns out that I fell asleep because I'm woken up by an announcement that we only have two hours left of our flight. My legs feel like they're not there anymore and I thank Jesus that I'm on the aisle seat as I know I'm going to struggle getting up. I walk along the cabin a bit until I regain feeling in my legs and look to the back of the plane. I see an air steward looking my way, may I add, hot as anything. I mean his jawline shouldn't be allowed on a plane as it could be used as a weapon. Just kidding, but he continues to stare. He has blonde hair with brown streaking throughout and is tall. I walk towards him and go back to my seat. He brushes past me and I get the feeling that he's trying to flirt with me. He looks back and I raise an eyebrow, he smiles at me which makes me laugh a little. He's flirting for sure.

To my surprise, the rest of the flight goes quickly and we soon landed in LA. My new life. I take a deep breath as I get up. The steward, comes my way and hands me something. "My number. Give me a call if you're around LA sometime." He says to me in a soft American accent and he's away before I can say anything. I put the paper in my pocket and get myself ready. I don't see him when I get off the plane, it's a shame, but I do have his number now. Score one for me! The queue for the immigration gate is long, but moves quick enough. I make sure that my Visa information is ready. The broad-shouldered man checks over everything and stamps my Visa into my passport. Once I grab my suitcases it all hits me. I'm in LA!