49 - emotions

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seeing all of your friends together
hurting
knowing that they still like you
just not enough
"why can't they just want to be around me? why can't they like me more?"
wondering
"why am i never good enough?"
crying
"why can't i just be normal."
wishing you weren't so goddamn stupid and unable to express emotions and mean and cruel and hurt and lonely and screwed up and wrecked and
and more
the list goes on
but i don't.

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