I'll pretend for you

Advice

Chapter 2: Advice

“YOU DID WHAT!?” Noah exclaimed in shock.

“I told Vanessa I was gay,” I mumbled this time even more quietly then the first time I told him.

“Why on earth would you do that?”

“Cause otherwise she would have said that we can’t be friends anymore,” I said sullenly.

“You told the girl you like that you’re gay, so that you can be close to her and that she falls in love with you. You do realize how stupid that sounds?” He asked me unbelievingly.

“Well, I didn’t say my idea was foolproof,” I admitted.

Noah let out a wail of laughter.

“Ah man, this is epic.” He said gasping for air because of how hard he was laughing. “This will make history.” Tears were starting to form in his eyes.

After a minute or so of non-stop laughter he finally calmed down.

“You must really love her.” He said more seriously.

“No shit, Sherlock.” I said glumly.

“So why don’t you just tell her that?”

“Cause it’s a bit more complicated.” I answered.

Noah raised his hands into the air as if he was praying and exclaimed, “What’s complicated about going up to a girl and saying ’I want you, you want me, so what are we waiting for?’ And bam, Vanessa and you are making out and you’re having the time of your life. Simple.”

I raised my eyebrows thinking he was out of his mind.

“Wow, that’s an amazing plan,” I said with fake enthousiasm, “Except that, 1, she has a boyfriend, 2, she made it clear yesterday when she pushed me away when I almost kissed her that she wasn’t into me that way and 3, no one would never fall for that lame pick up line. Actually I don’t think that even deserves to be called a pick up line!” I said.

“It’s not lame!” Noah denied immediately. “I’ve used it plenty of times.”

“Yeah, and that’s why you don’t have a girlfriend.”

He stopped to think for a second and slowly said, “You might have a point.”

We remained silent for a while. “So what are you going to do now?” He asked me.

“Well, I don’t have much choice, now do I?” I said sullenly. “I’m going to have to pretend I’m gay.”

“That won’t be to hard for you.” Noah joked. “I mean, if it were up to me, no one would believe I’m gay, but you… You’ve already got the look, man.”

I punched him hard in the arm and he let out a yell of surprise.

“Well you definitely don’t hit like a gay guy,” He said as he clutched his arm.

“Oh cause gays have a specific way of hitting?” I asked sarcastically.

Noah scratched his head as he considered it.

“Maybe?” He said thoughtfully.

“Let’s face it. You and I don’t know anything about being gay. How am I going to pull this off?” I asked exasperated.

“In normal times, I would consider that to be a good thing.” Noah joked.

“Well not this time. I never thought I would say this, but I need to learn how to be gay.” I said seriously.