bleed me | jin ✔

T W O

My love,

Today I saw cheap direct flights to Hawaii. It was your dream, to go on vacation there, hike the volcano, and swim with the dolphins. Do you still dream of going?

I thought about booking the flight for myself. These days, I feel like escaping. Escaping all of this. The memories. The pity in my friends' eyes. The tears. The regrets. The suffering.

But it would be useless, because no matter where I am,  I can't escape the pain that is inside me.

I think I must learn to live with that pain, because I know it won't ever go away. 

Still, it hurts. 

J. 

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"Jin Hyung! How are you?" A sharp voice said, and Jin turned to see Namjoon arriving, along with Jungkook and Hoseok. 

He stared at the three of them, dressed nicely with black pants, collared shirts, and new kicks. Then he lowered his eyes to his torn up jeans, his black t-shirt, and a pair of Pumas. He felt underdressed. 

Oh, well. It's not like he cared what people thought anyway. He hadn't cared for a long time. As long as he got in the clubs. And if he didn't, well, it would be a great reason to go home. 

"Fine." He answered automatically, even though they all knew it was a lie. 

Jungkook hopped his last steps towards him, a huge smile on his face.

"Jin Hyung! Thank you for coming!" He said excitedly, and Jin felt uncomfortable at the thought that Jungkook felt the need to thank him for coming to his birthday. 

He knew he was a shitty friend. And every time he saw his friends, he was reminded of it. 

"I'm so ready to party." Hoseok was almost shaking from excitement. "I heard of this new place in Gangnam, where they throw foam at you and everyone ends up drenched." He wiggled his eyebrows. "Doesn't it sound awesome?" 

Jin didn't bother reacting, because no matter what they proposed, there was no way he'd found it awesome. But he didn't miss Jungkook's almost terrified reaction. 

"Uh... Hoseok Hyung, I'd prefer if we stayed dry tonight. My mom will be mad if I come home and wet her carpets." He said the last part shamefully. 

"Ah! Kid, you are turning 26, not 14. Why do you even still live with your parents?" Namjoon intervened, slightly pushing Jungkook's shoulder. 

The boy rolled his eyes in annoyance. 

"It's cheaper." A smile appeared on his lips. "And, I don't have to do my laundry." 

"Ah! We all know how that ends up for Namjoon. Maybe you should move back home too, Namjoon." Hoseok laughed.

This time Namjoon pushed Hoseok's shoulder, earning a sound of complaint from the boy.

Jin was staring at them, and he wondered when was the last time he laughed. If he was being honest, he couldn't remember. Maybe last month?

His thoughts were interrupted by Jungkook slightly pushing them toward the subway entrance.

"Let's go. It's my birthday, so I choose the place." He stated, stopping his Hyungs from arguing with him.

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"Woah, this place is awesome! How do you know this place, Jungkook?" Hoseok said in amazement, as the four boys stood in the entrance of a gigantic club, staring down at a dancing crowd.

"I know tons of places." Said the younger boy, a smirk on his lips. 

Jin looked at him, and couldn't help but wonder when Jungkook had grown so much. He could still remember the boy's shy eyes and doubtful sense of fashion when he had met him, back when they had first started college. Now Jungkook was flirting with girls left and right, and knew all the hottest clubs.

College. It was around that time that he had met her, too. She also had shy eyes, but they were filled with kindness and pride. She didn't care much for fashion, and Jin was the same.

Back then, they were just young kids, and they had fell in love. They thought it would last forever, and it did, for a while.

And now he hadn't seen or heard from her in three years.

"Let's get a table." Namjoon said, and the rest of the boys followed him to a corner and sat down. From there, they overlooked the dancing crowd. 

"So, Jin Hyung, still working for Shinhan?" Hoseok asked, pouring him a drink. 

"Yeah." Jin said. "They pay well." 

"Yeah, anyway the job market is hard right now. You probably couldn't switch even if you wanted to." Hoseok nodded and let his eyes wander over the crowd. 

"Right?" Namjoon agreed. "My sister is looking for a job, and she can't find anything. And she went to a top university!" he said, looking at Hoseok.

But Hoseok wasn't looking at them anymore. Instead, he was looking in the distance, through the crowd, as if he had seen something and couldn't stop staring at it.

"What are you looking at, Hoseok? A hot chick?" Namjoon asked, a smirk on his full lips, his eyes looking for what had caught Hoseok's stare. 

"No," Hoseok answered, his voice full of doubt. 

He wasn't sure if he should say something. Yet, he went for it. 

"Isn't that June?" Hoseok added, raising a finger and pointing at the crowd.