Difficult

Three

I've had this done for a while now but I didn't post it. Sorry about that. Also, this chapter takes place almost directly before Zero.

Disclaimer: As always, I don't own TVD. If I did, Katherine would have gotten over Stefan and skipped off to the sunset with her freedom.

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Human.

She was human again.

She should have been happy about that.

.

Once upon a time, being human was everything she wanted.

Normal. Not a vampire. A monster.

Elena hadn't wanted to be human again for years.

And now she was. Mostly.

She was still a doppelgänger.

And her mind still had all her vampire instincts. The need to hung. The heightened emotions.

The goddamn libido.

The stupid cockiness, the feeling of invincibility that had caused her to break her hand when she tried to take her frustrations out on a tree, overestimating her strength. (forgetting she didn't have it anymore)

And, of course, the cravings.

The insistence of her brain screaming that she needed blood, that she was getting delirious, that her body was shutting down.

Against a body that stubbornly kept on breathing, kept on moving, alive, even without consuming someone else's life-giving fluid.

Elena had gotten countless headaches since she had Woken with her memories from Before.

Sometimes, it was from the priorly listed arguments, sometimes a flurry of emotions her human self couldn't handle all at once.

It was overwhelming. Fighting herself, having to deal with vampire emotions while stuck in a human body.

All on her own.

It didn't come as a surprise when it ended up being too much.

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So, there you have it folks, the reason why Elena is so messed up in this fic. She has all her vampiric thought processes and feelings, but no way to express them to the same degree, due to her body being significantly more fragile right now.

I just had a thought as to what that might mean as far as her being compelled goes, and my inner movie villain is cackling.

Hopefully you won't have to wait too long for the next few chapters, and I'm actually going to start sneaking in plot here. It's still going to be super confusing. You've been warned.