Home World (Lapidot angst)

Moving on (or not?)

Peridot had learnt not to give up hope when something goes wrong. 

Despite initial efforts failing, the trio's new gardens were thriving, and having such a beautiful project took up a lot of Peridot's time, allowing her to refocus her mind on the real world. 

Spending time with others also kept Peridot preoccupied. Being able to talk to others was important for her and the crystal gems had been a great support network.

Steven had an ever-cheerful attitude. Thinking about it, he'd been through so much. For such a young boy, he had great responsibility. He'd been passed down this great legacy from his mother, which actually made him quite a big target. He was an entirely new being, a hybrid. Even recently, he'd faced the diamonds, barely escaping execution. And yet, here he was, getting on with life. He was an inspiration to always smile.

Tough love came from Amethyst. Without her, she may have never left the bathroom. Sometimes you need someone to drag you up from the dirt when you don't have the strength. It may not feel like you want to move at the time, but when you finally do you'll find it's not as difficult as you thought. She was always the first to make sure Peridot hadn't been alone for too long and encouraged her to get involved with anything the gems would get up to.

Through her own experiences, Pearl was understanding. She herself had abandoned Homeworld to defend Earth. Along the way, she'd lost the most important person to her. Having someone with similar experiences helped Peridot feel less alone. They had shared a few conversations about said topics, which had built their friendship and made them both feel better. Peridot wondered why they hadn't done this earlier.

Garnet was full of wisdom. Both her components knew how it was to care for someone deeply, though lacked the experience of being teared apart in such a manner. This didn't stop them sympathising, however. Her level-head helped Peridot calm down in times of stress. Garnet knew how to deal with negative thoughts, each half finding solace in one another. Being connected to other people was important, and she made sure Peridot felt connected to others and finding an inner balance.

Bit by bit, the weight in her stomach faded. Each day she felt somewhat lighter. The emotional brick holding her down was now more of a pebble. Though much smaller, it had not gone entirely. Each day she would spend some time to brood over it.

This evening the sea was calm. The rock she was sat upon wasn't exactly comfortable, offering a uneven, solid seat for her. It wasn't to bother her, though. Her mind was fixated on other aspects of her surroundings.

Frothy waves swept rhythmically over damp grains of sand, leaving a darkened patch that lightened up again after a few seconds. The process repeated itself over and over. Peridot had observed this for about an hour already, though her mind was not focused on it. Combined with the rushing sounds, the slow movement was somewhat soothing.

Often she'd find herself here, sat on the beach, staring out at the sea. It contrasted to her inner emotions nicely. Such a peaceful night. A quiet ocean. Much different to the ocean gem.

She felt a twinge in her chest.

These days it was a familiar sensation. Before Lapis had left she'd felt nothing quite like it. It took little time afterwards for her to become accustom to it, as it would occur often. The green gem knew she was fine. Yes, she missed the distant blue gem, but time had helped her come to terms with the sudden departure. Rather, this was concern.

Emotions ruled the mind of the water gem. That was why she had wanted to leave so badly. Her fear swept her away. How would she be coping now?

Perhaps she was fine.

Another hit to the chest.

Fine without her.

At least through the time Steven was on homeworld, they had each other. Oh, how worried Lapis was. Despite how much Lapis' distress hurt Peridot, part of her indulged in it. She would get to comfort her. Make her laugh. Distract her. Instead of worrying, she could focus her attention on Lapis. Cheering her made the technician feel successful. She liked to fix things.

She hadn't fixed Lapis.

Perhaps she'd be fixed now. Out in space she'd have nothing to be concerned about. There would be no mirrors or prisons to trap her. No gems to fuse with. The diamonds would have to reason to look for her. The environment would be unchanging.

"If she wasn't okay, she'd come back. And she hasn't, so she's fine." she sternly told herself.

Just like she'd told herself every other day.

The words came out as a quiet sigh. Saying them aloud made them more believable. The stern tone also made it more convincing. It... didn't really work, though.

Before she was to leave the spot, she took one final look up to the sky. It was a wash of navy, and out here on the beach there was little light on the ground, allowing you to see the stars better. She also had a clear view tonight due to the low abundance of clouds that would usually dust the sky. It was clear enough to see some distant galaxies, a streak of purple to the right, some red down to the left. Some lights in the sky weren't twinkling, and Peridot was able to recognise those as nearby planets. Regardless of all that may be going on out there, it was all very still.

Searching through the endless stars, she couldn't help but contemplate where the water gem might be tonight.