To Be A Magical Boy

Chapter 5 - Fourth Year (part 2)

A sense of relief washed through the entirety of Gryffindor Tower when Harry and Ron finally overcame their differences, and not only because it meant that a grumbling and resentful Ron was no longer tagging alongside Seamus and Dean all the time. And when everyone else overcame those same differences, for that matter, for Seamus could admit with more than a hint of sheepishness that their house at large had kind of been a bunch of prats to Harry. Even if Seamus – and Dean, he knew – hadn't particularly wanted to exclude Harry, the fact of the matter was that they had.

It was a horrible feeling, but Seamus felt that he could accept his failing and work to make up for it. At least to a degree.

More than just the situation with Harry was looking up, however. Since the First Task in which Harry had to face a bloody dragon, Seamus felt as though he'd had a touch of perspective impressed upon him. It was true that his situation sucked. Really sucked, even, because the more he thought about it the more Seamus was coming to realise that he was... he was, in fact... gay. That he didn't fancy girls like his dorm mates did, and that boys were just more interesting. That they captured his interest in ways that girls just didn't. That if he was going to take interesting in someone, he inevitably found himself staring at a boy.

It had taken a dragon nearly eating his friend for Seamus to realise that his identity crisis was just slightly less consequential when pitted against potential death or mutilation. Though not entirely irrelevant or unimportant, and though it still made Seamus nauseous to think about – or to consider his mam finding out, dear Merlin – he could deal with it. So long as he strove to ignore it as much as possible, he could.

And he did. At least until the situation with the Yule Ball arose.

That in itself was horrifying, and for more than the fact that it involved asking a date to attend with him. There was excitement in the air, and in their dorm of a night even Neville participated in discussions of what girls they'd like to ask, commiserated with Ron for his pining after that Veela Beauxbatons champion Delacour or whatever her name was, and Harry's despondency at his own dating skills. Seamus found himself thoroughly vexed when Dean brought up the subject with him – well, he asked Seamus and Neville both, being the two in his general vicinity – and asked who he was going with. He didn't know why it annoyed him so much, but he felt the rising need to divert the subject. Especially when Neville brought up Ginny.

"Wait, what?" Dean's eyebrows rose incredulously.

Neville nodded in a show of embarrassment and dropped his eyes down to his breakfast. Their conversation was likely largely unheard due to the surrounding noise of the rest of their fellow breakfast-goers, but he still lowered his voice as he continued. "Yeah, well, you know. I just figured that she was Ron's sister and all so it might be less, um... awkward."

"Less awkward than asking your mate's sister?" Seamus said with a smirk. Well, in this instance was kind of amusing. Or at least it was until Dean continued.

"How did you ask her?" He asked, his voice more curious that teasing. Seamus couldn't help but spare him a frown.

Neville shrugged uncomfortably. "I just, you know... asked her."

"You just asked her," Seamus echoed. His smirk felt slightly forced now under the radiant heat of Dean's intent stare.

"Yeah. 'Cause third years and under aren't allowed to go to the Ball unless they get asked, so I said maybe if she came with me then she could get in. Or something."

"Oh, so... you don't fancy her?" Dean asked. Strangely, he sounded slightly relieved for that fact, and that annoyance rose within Seamus once more. He had to struggle to vanquish the feeling that accompanied his sudden urge to frown.