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Chapter 4

"I am excited to hear that you have been doing better, Reid. I truly am. But, this isn't a driveway. It is a road, and, it is anything but over, I'm sorry to say. You know, better than I, I am sure, that this is a condition, if nothing else. That being said, I have set up an appointment with the FBI psychologist to do a psych eval, followed by mandatory weekly sessions, given our case load permits. In a month we will reevaluate the standing, but for now I think this is the best way to handle it," Hotch said to Reid with his usual stern demeanor, although up against a genius profiler, he was unable to hide the undertone of concern he was displaying for the younger profiler.

"Sounds... like a plan," Reid said nervously, shoving his hands further into his pockets.

"Good. You are free to go."

"Uh, yes. Thank you, sir," Reid said as he began shuffling to the door, and onto the platform looking over the bullpen, currently filled with concerned eyes from his colleagues- most of which hadn't seen him since he had stormed out of the BAU a week ago. But, before he could reach them, as well as their questions he didn't try to deny were coming, JJ stepped in front of him.

"Hey, so... how'd it go?" she said with an acquisitive tone.

"Good, I guess. I have to do a psych eval, and go to weekly sessions with the FBI shrink, but it might not be such a bad thing."

"Oh, good. And I agree. I think it will be helpful to talk to someone about it. And I will be at your place for as long as you need me."

"Thanks, JJ."

She pat his back and they walked together into the center of the office where Alex, Penelope, and Morgan were all waiting.

Garcia was the first to speak, asking in a gentle tone, "Hey, how are you?"

"Yeah, you had us scared for a bit, there, Reid," Alex added, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks, guys. But, I think I'm good."

"Hey, man. You know you can talk to any of us, ever, right?" Morgan asked, unusually softly, making the mood of the room very apparent in his eyes.

"I know," he said as he tried to get to his desk as fast as he could to avoid any more worried looks. As he sat down, his mind wandered to the week before, when his secret that he had tried so hard to keep for so long, got out.

"Okay, everybody. Go home and get some rest. See you all tomorrow morning, bright and early," Hotch said as he gathered up the remnants of his papers and files strewn across the round table.

"Good. I am looking forward to a good nights sleep," Alex added, following Hotch's lead as she stood up from the table.

"This is the first time in weeks we have had a night off. I will be hitting the bar. Anyone care to join me?" Morgan said smugly.

"I may be interested. How 'bout you, Reid? Wanna come?" JJ asked the young profiler.

"I'm actually just going to head home. I'm kinda tired," he said as he clumsily got up from his chair, as if he were in a hurry to escape the request. In his attempt at a hasty exit, he dropped the case file, and the contents flew onto the floor.

As he bent down to collect the papers, JJ kneeled beside him, and began helping to collect the pages.

"It- it's okay JJ. I got it," he said, pushing his bangs behind his ears and away from his face.

"No, don't be silly. Its fine Spence. Here-"

Her words stopped in their tracks as Spencer reached across the ground to pick up a stray paper, revealed his scarred wrist as his sweater stretched across his arm. The rest of the team, half of which were standing right above, seeing as they were right beside the doorway, stopped and turned back to see what had caused JJ's abrupt halt of words.

"Spencer..." she said looking down at his arm briefly, before he quickly retracted it back and pulled down the sleeve. "Spencer!" She pulled his arm an pushed the sleeve up. "Oh my god..." she said sadly, feeling the tears moisten her eyes and her face going white.

He heard gasps from the faces standing above him as he stood up.

"It's fine, I just- I gotta go," he said as he tried to run out of the room, only to be blocked by Morgan stepping in front of the entryway.

"Reid. Sit 'own."

"Spencer!" JJ said through tears as she shot up from the ground, as if she had just regained the ability to talk after the shock of seeing the scars on her best friends arm. "What is going on?"

He slowly turned and sat back down on a chair facing them, as JJ sat down beside him, scooting her chair close and taking his hand in hers.

"Spencer... What is this? What did you do?" JJ screamed at him through sobs and tears.

He wondered if things would be better now; now that he wasn't just keeping it all inside; now that he could talk about it. He knew that after only a week, JJ had been able to make him feel better than he had in almost five months. If that said anything about the next few weeks, he was almost looking forward to it.