Madness

A Little bit of help, is all that is needed.

Did she really just say that?

Gianna's dead?

How can she be?

She was just put on life support the other day.

How can she be gone so fast?

Why?

It's probably my fault as usual.

It's my fault.

Mine, mine, mine.

Gianna.

Please come back. Please.

Janie was trying to restrain me from Gianna's room, but I still got in.

The nurses were wrapping her body up for the autopsy. She was just laying there helpless. It was like no one was there to help her. It was like no one was there to help me. Help me to support her. I didn't do enough for her. She was too good for me. I was too good for her. She's now in a better place.

One of the nurses saw me teary eyes and gave me a hug. That wasn't enough for me. Gianna deserved better. More than me. I can't help but crying.

I decided to just go home and take the babies with me.

How will Scarlett and Hunter love their life knowing this? I can't do it. We will all have to just do this together. We're all in this together. Together, forever right?

I went home with Scarlett and Hunter. As soon as I got inside, all I saw were the decorations for Gianna that I set up for her when she was discharged from the hospital. Feelings are coming back again.

I put down Scarlett and Hunter carefully and took down the decorations off before I cried my heart out.

I went upstairs into the nursery and showed the little ones their new home.

It was going to be hard.

I can't do this alone.

I can't help but think of Gianna.

Gianna, Gianna, Gianna.

*DING DONG*

Someone was at the door.

I put Scarlett and Hunter to bed first.

I opened the door slowly.

It turned out to be Marrissa, Janie, Brianne, and Alana.

I looked glum and said, "Oh, what are you guys doing here?"

"We came here to stay with you a few days. Ever since what happened today, we decided you can't do this on your own. Also that you needed help. So were going to stay for a while until you get the hang of things," Alana said.

"I don't know what to do without you guys," I said as they came inside.

"Ok, first off, we have to unpack and get the babies prepped and ready," Marrissa said," Then Jake, you have to cook dinner and make or buy food for the babies ok? Brianne you will help with the changing of diapers. Alana will help with the babies crying. Janie and I will pull everything together."

What would I do without these people.

Then I remembered something.

In two days, is Gianna's funeral.