Lucy's Heart

This is me...

Lucy’s pov

It’s been a few months since the funeral for my father, I still can’t get over the fact that he’s gone ‘I never got to tell him I love him’ I thought as I started crying, in the back of the guild hall. I’ve been alone for the past few months just crying, no one tried to help calm me down or take me away from the pain. Team Natsu went on several missions without me there, probably because I just mess everything up “have you heard about this new request that’s even got team Natsu too scared to try it out” “yeah and to think we thought that they were the strongest team in the guild” I kept hearing people talking about this one job and how several of the strongest teams in the guild wouldn’t take it.

“Shut up” I mumbled as I held my knees closer to me “I bet that the only reason why they are to scared to take the job is because they’ve gotten weak” I looked at team Natsu and started seeing the stars around them fade away. “Well what about you huh? Why don’t you take the job” Natsu snapped at the members that were talking shit about them “because we don’t want to” “yeah we’ve already got our money” I started seeing red so I closed my eyes. ‘Why do I feel like this is all my fault, all I ever wanted was to be happy’ I thought as I calmed down “Lucy, why don’t you tell them off about your team, hmmm” “yeah you should break their spirits about their pride” ‘those voices… I can’t get them out of my head and they’re driving me nuts’ I thought as I gripped my head.

I kept hearing people yelling about that one job, the one job that no guild would want, not even the dark guilds would take it. “You know what why don’t you just quit the guild” someone yelled and threw their magic at a guild member, that had somehow gotten in front of me, but when that person dodged the attack it hit me. Everyone stopped and looked at me, in fear that I would start crying or lose control, but all I did was sit there while pain from the attack coursing through my body, ‘why does it hurt so much when I get hurt by one of my nakama’ I asked myself in my own head.

After a few minutes people started fighting again with even more spells hitting me, but weak spells ‘so they’re scared of hurting me’ I thought as I looked at everyone. All of their stars were going out “please stop” I whispered, but not even the dragon slayers heard me so I kept saying it “‘please stop, please stop, please stop’” but not one of them heard me. So finally I spoke louder and said “stop, it hurts” when I said that everyone stopped, it was like my voice was an arrow that shot them right in the heart “we’re so sorry Luce, we didn’t mean to hurt you” Natsu said as he looked down.

‘They worry so much about me after the funeral’ I thought “i-it’s fine Natsu, the spells didn’t hurt me” they all looked confused “then what hurt you Lucy” Gray asked as he knelt down next to me. “Seeing you all fight about one job, seeing the stars around you all disappearing” I knew I was losing them when I talked about the stars, and I knew everyone, except master, thought I was going crazy when I talked about the stars around them. Did I really care, no not really, it just meant that I was once again different than everyone else.

They slowly went back to what they were doing before they started fighting, but me I didn't, I started thinking about how I could change so they didn't have to keep worrying about me all the damn time. So I got up and headed over to the job request board, I looked around for any jobs that caught my eye, but alas, nothing.