Why?

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i finish eating my pizza and i stand to look for kayla. As i walk to the living room almost leaving kim behind, kayla and all her cousins walk in the kitchen.

I immediately grab Kayla's arm and bring her to her room locking us both in "what happened?!?"  She yells, looking annoyed at me. I sigh and sit on her bed.

"why did you introduce me to him?" I ask. she smirks and sits beside me, looking at me while biting her bottom lip.

"Kim right?" She asks and i nod

"he asked me to introduce you to him...he's actually seen you before but i don't think you remembered him at that time. He was at that party me and you went to last year...but since me and you were having too much fun he didnt get to introduce himself to you.
So, he finally asked me to introduce you to him earlier this year..." She finishes.

I nod, but why didnt he introduce himself? Why did he ask kayla to introduce us?

"hello? Earth to em."

I snap out of it and see a grinning kayla "why did you ask me all of the sudden?" She asks. "it's because he kissed me." I say. she squeals and claps her hands "i knew he liked you!"

I look at her seriously and she stops and looks at me worried "why that face?" She asks. "i called him a fuckboy..and punched him."

kayla lays down on her bed, grabbing a pillow and sits back up throwing the pillow at me and hitting me with it.

"ah! Yah! Stop!" I push her off me and we sit back on the bed and she looks at me angrily.

"bitch, i go to school with him. I know he's not a fuckboy...like, yeah, he watches porn but everyone watches porn. but he's only had two girlfriends in his whole life! But yooouuu, you've never had a boyfriend...and he probably suspects that because you look like innocent." She finishes,

wow so im obvious that im a "innocent" slash never dated. I never knew i looked like that. no wonder he asked if he was my first kiss.
Well, yes, passionately he is my first kiss because he made me feel loved...

unlike john. he made me feel scared. So, i guess you can say kim is my first.
"Oh, i didnt know i looked like that." I say. she frowns "but i do know your not a virgin...but that was rape, and you didnt love john. So, lets just put that in the past and start all over again.

If you date him... And I am not telling you to date him! I'm just saying what could happen!

he will be your first in everything, first kiss. First boyfriend. First at...you know. But I'm not saying to do it!" She says. i nod. Im not the type to get embarrassed about talking about sex.

Me and kayla never get nervous or embarrassed about talking about these things. so, this is normal talk for us.

"Yeah, your right. Plus kim might also help me forget about this whole rape thing." I say, and she squints her eyes but smiles.

"i know him, he's a good guy...if you like him you can be with him but since your still fourteen...gosh, I don't want to but if you will get better then...

ill help you guys stay in the hidden." She says.

Yes, my parents said im not allowed to start dating till im 18 but since i never went to school and interacted with those kids my age growing up.
instead, i grew up either alone or with twenty year olds always talking about drugs and how horny they are...

thats why i know about everything,
and why i act older then my age.

because growing up around adults with no kids around made them always get angry at me, saying to act older then my age or to start maturing because I was annoying...they would tell me that all the time when i was eight and from then on, they still do.

I nod at kayla "okay, ill see." I tell her.
a knock interrupts us. i turn to see a smirking kim, leaning against the door frame.

how did he get in? I thought i locked the door?

"Kim! What brings you in here?" Kayla asks,

but Kims eyes never left mine. I look away only causing him to smirk even more.

god, i wish i can slap that smirk off that face.

"Nothing. I just wanted to see what you girls are up to, because it sounded like you guys were talking about porn." He finishes,

and i turn to see he's still looking at me. kayla nervously laughs and looks at me worried. "um, what did you hear us talk about?" She asks.

Kim leans off of the door frame and walks towards us, sitting next to me on the bed...a little too close.

his leg is pressed against mine and i act like i don't care about it but its bothering me. Its making me get butterflies.

"I just heard kayla talk about someone watching porn and then about emily not being a virgin... and how she might date someone." He finishes off.

Fuck.

its a good thing we didnt say his name after talking about the porn part.

I look at kim, looking as if im not surprised. but in reality i am really surprised. its a good thing i learned to hide my true emotions.

he looked angry and a little upset. Is he mad about hearing me not being a virgin? He presses his leg against mine really hard that i almost glared at him.

but i keep my emotions hidden still.
I could be an actress, im good at this whole acting like i don't care thing.

Kayla's coughs and i look at her. she stands up.

"guys, im gonna go eat some pizza...come when you guys finish talking." She says.

and with that she leaves us.

alone.

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 11, 2021 ⏰

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