Reylo ~ In My Dreams

Chapter 1 - Him

Rey's POV

He stood up anxiously from the cobalt blue couch, walking slowly towards the bed.  As I'm sitting up on the bed I slowly pull the covers up to my chest and slowly arch my back forwards as he comes closer, his knees now on the bed, and his eyes locked on mine. His lips now so close to mine I couldn't even see the separation between them; I bite my lower lip and breathe out lightly onto his mouth suddenly feeling a growing sensation of worry and apprehension.  Adrenaline quickly flows through me as I realise what's happening. This can't be happening I thought to myself, this is inappropriate, what is Kylo Ren doing here, on me, and about to kiss me? I start shaking with fear and tremble backwards smashing my body against the head board hard not a moment later I wake up tears streaming rapidly down my face. I sit there whimpering on my bed trying to calm myself down, it's only a dream... it's only a dream. Except it didn't feel like a dream, it felt real. Different than any other dream I have had before, vivid, alarming, and maybe romantic in a way? No. There can be no romantic anything with him, not after what I did to him or the decision he was willing to make. Maybe it would have been better if I had joined him; we could have built a friendship or at least a partnership. After gaining his trust I could entice him back to the light. I know Ben is still in there, deep down because I think he's in love with me, or at least I hope he does. When I sent myself down to the first order I imagined bringing Ben back to the resistance to help us win this war, and then maybe him and I would spend more time with each other after it was all over. Maybe we could eat lunch together, maybe we could even train and practice the force together, and maybe even sit under the stars at midnight and talk about our past and future, and how perfect right now is. When he had killed Snoke and not me I really thought it was bound to happen, but unfortunately not. Just like Luke had told me it wasn't going to go the way I thought and it didn't. It was 2 am and I decided to head out for a walk and get some fresh air, seems as though I won't be getting any sleep tonight anyway. Again.

In The Forest

I kept on walking for what seemed like hours, tree after tree, it all looked the same until I came to place I couldn't recognize. It was a cliff and a rock solid bench. As the sun started to pear over the mountain peaks shining all around I sat down admiring the breathtaking view. Everything was so calm and peaceful; I closed my eyes and listened to the birds chirping. All of a sudden I feel a presence appear behind me, I whip my head around to see who it was and placed my hand on the tip of my lightsaber. I pull away realising it was Ben. He wore simple black clothing, no gloves  and no mask, he stared at the ground confused of where he was, then looks up to meet my eyes. I look away and breathe in heavily, unable to move. I didn't know whether to run or stay. I was cornered on a cliff so I didn't have many options. I look into his eyes only seeing hatred and heartbreak, so much that I thought a tear was about to fall. "Can't sleep scavenger?" he whispered. I couldn't get any words out so I just shook my head. There was a long pause, then I finally spoke up and said "Snoke lied, he said he had bridged our minds every time we saw each other, but it's not true" He tilts his head slightly still looking at me "I know, it's the force,"

"The force wants us to work together, to bring balance to the galaxy," I reply nervously. "I offered you to join me, yet instead you try to kill me," he folds his arms walking two steps forward, brows furrowing. "You were and still are heading down the wrong path, I will not support it. You would have killed me if I refused. I was simply protecting myself," I said and turned away. "You don't know that! You just assume like everyone else. Now you're just like everyone else who has tried to kill me assuming I was going to do something bad, maybe I would have let you live your puny life fighting for the dying team!" I stare at him unsure of what to say now. "I'm sorry," He takes one last glance at me, pursing his lips together before disappearing. I didn't want him to leave, not yet. Except Finn will most likely be at my door anytime soon anyway to make sure I'm ready for training.

Finn was in a good mood as usual, he started going on about planning some trip to a nearby planet for supplies. I wasn't paying too much attention, because I kept thinking about Ben. I wanted to cry, but then Finn would probably ask me if I was on my "time of the month", so I just held it back and faced away from him while we trained. "Finn! Wait a sec," I shouted as I ran up to him. He turned to a stop and replied "yes Rey?" "Do you want to maybe come to my cabin for dinner? Oh! And we can have a movie night like we used to!" I said showing jazz hands with a bright smile plastered over my face. "Oh, I would love to Rey!" he replied.

"Wait, really?" I said while on my tippy toes and hands intertwined against my chest. "Except... I kind of have some things to finish up tonight... but another time, okay Rey?" he said putting his hand on my shoulder once before turning around and walking away again. "Oh... okay" I said mainly to myself. I was confused, what could Finn be busy with? Usually he's tired by now and just wants to eat and go to bed early. I was hungry now, so I headed back to my cabin and made myself something to eat. I open my fridge realising I don't even have food. I grunt and close the fridge door. I guess I'll just have to eat at the cafeteria. As I'm walking I notice two people sitting in the distance, I look closer and see Finn and Rose having a picnic at one of the tables by the forest. Both of them laughing and smiling. Rose's leg on Finn's thighs as he moves his hands up and down them, while she feeds him what I presume is spaghetti. My jaws start to clench and my hands form fists, I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I was too far for them to notice me and there was no way I was going to come closer now. I sprint back to my cabin, hands covering my tears. I swing open the door, quickly locking it and walk over to the bathroom. I strip off all my clothing and turn on the water. I get in the shower feeling the warm water wash over my face as I slowly lean against the wall, peering at the floor. I'm jealous. Not that Rose was with Finn, but because they were together. I wanted that too. I wanted someone to hold me when I was tired, to tell me jokes even if they weren't funny, someone to wipe away my tears, someone to wake up next to, to fight alongside me, someone who would die for me, someone... who loved me. And again like every night before I couldn't sleep.