"I feel like God gives you what you deserve. Whatever that is, you get what you deserve," - Common.
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LIFE HAD FINALLY SEEMED TO SETTLE BETWEEN US. For the first time, it felt like we did not have to run, nor hide from each and everyone. No one knew us here. We were far away from my old pack, and there was almost 2 miles to the nearest town.
Sometimes I wonder if Xavier regrets it. Regrets what I did and the things we had to sacrifice, but whenever I sneak a glance to decipher him, he merely smiles. He truly seems content with just being us, which to me is just what I need.
If it wasn't for him, I don't think I would have survived being banned from Lunar Noctis. For months we had to continue running, distancing ourselves far enough from their territory and their searchers as well as their allies.
A few times I was sure, what we had would be short-lived and they would catch us, but Xavier always found a way out. That was another one of his lovable traits - his fascination and care for nature that seemed even greater than mine and that was saying something.
In the back of my head, I knew it was also one of the reasons for why he was so ready to accept me. To accept who I am - what I am.
Taking a small break from my chores, I untangle the fabric from my palm. It's been a few days since I cut myself. I run my finger along the ragged line. Surely, it is not that deep, but still there is a part of me that should worry.
It has been a few days, but it is still there. Before..., before everything, it would have healed in minutes, but now. Now, it had just stopped bleeding this morning.
As I keep examining the scar, I know I have to acknowledge the fact that it is not just my senses that are slowly regressing, but also my lycanthropic enhancement.
I can no longer hear the winds before they even arrive, nor can I hear Xavier's heartbeat even if he is standing a few feet away. Even my sense of smell is starting to abandon me, and I don't have the courage to tell him that if Lunar Noctis decides to enter this part of the land, I will no longer be able to give us the much needed head-start.
I do not have the heart to tell him that this is the beginning of our end.
I had never before given much thought to what would happen to a packless wolf. Why would I? Lunar Noctis was not a pack you wanted to run from. If anything you wanted to join it.
A part of me should be angry and frustrated about what was happening to me - of what Lunar Noctis did to me. I guess even a part of me should be angry with Xavier, and him being human. But I am not.
I chose this. Besides, I cannot even be angry with the deities, because how can I be incensed with something, someone, who clearly isn't real?
If the deities were real, we would not be in this situation right now. If the deities were real, we should not have to run. If the deities actually existed, I would not have been banned for acting in the name of love.
