Yeah... well you know.

Sure...

So...
I want to talk about something that I have felt a lot lately.
They aren't amazing things to feel but they come to everyone.

These two things are betrayal and hurt.

Two, emotions that I have been hit hard with lately. Someone I trusted dearly turning out to be not so trust worthy, something I tried my best to make worth the while was made completely pointless. As if the connection was never there or even fainter than it was before the connection was made stronger.

Usually in these times people would say 'I regret everything'

I don't regret.
That is one thing I never do.
Well, I don't mean it most of the time.
If it means I hurt someone who I care about then I will regret making that decision.
But the whole decision would not be regretted. If I had a good time then I would not regret.

I would regret the way I made someone feel but not what I did.
For example if I made plans without a friend and they were upset by that, I would regret not inviting them but if I had a good time I would not regret the adventure and would probably try to do it again but this time with the person I had previously hurt.

Another time I would regret something in some way is that if it effects me in a negative way.

For example if someone was to cheat on my best friend and I hit them and they were in pain and I got in trouble for it. I would regret doing it because that's what got me in trouble but not what i did.

Am I making sense here at all?
Probably not.

Anyway betrayal and hurt that's what i made this chapter for.

All though they are difficult to deal with even if it's just one on it's own it's still something we all need to deal with.

Betrayal from friends, family members, boyfriends, girlfriends. It will happen to everyone in some way.

Hurt from loosing a family member, a friend or a companion. Everyone is hurt at some point and it's something that we can't stop.

Betrayal doesn't need to be accompanied by hurt or the other way round. Just one alone is a lot to deal with. Which is why we surround our selves with friends and family members or positive people to help lift us from our dark moments and bring us to the bright hours.

There will always be people out to get you down or waiting for you to say something that they can run off and tell others. And there will always be times where the world is just shit.
Like when someone close to you dies or your ... I don't know... your cat runs away, things that hurt you aren't always on purpose. Something's are natural.

Same with betrayal. Like I said people will wait for you to say something and then run off to tell someone else.  But then there are times where people don't always have others feelings in mind when they do something.
Like when I made plans and didn't include a close friend and they were upset. I didnt mean to leave them out or have the intentions of upsetting them but i guarantee they felt betrayed. And they thought I was avoiding them. But I wasn't I just didn't consider the feeling of people around me. Because im a moron. But that's just me. And that's just an example.

But I'm not saying all betrayal is by accident. For example... I don't know... cheating!!! In this instance there is no way a person could do this and not think that they wouldn't be hurting someone else's feelings. This is an action with betrayal intendancies. They want someone go feel a certain way.

This could be for so many reasons but two in particular. Or at least the main reasons I feel someone would do something bad to someone else on purpose.

The first one being a shut one that has no reasoning behind it at all.

-"they have stuff going on" I tried to back a friend up with this statement once, not for cheating, but only when I said it did I realise how bad of a reason this was. Unless they have a strong reason why they did something then I can't see how this is used. It's like how bullies bully kids because they have .. idk... daddy issues or something. But hey people do it anyway so ... sure.... but there are deeper reasons. Say if someone was being stubborn it could be because something big is happening like a family member in hospital and they are trying to think with all the distractions of the world going in too. In some cases this 'excuse' can be used but for something like cheating I wouldn't think so I think it's something deeper which brings me to my second reason...

My second reason being they decided that they need this feeling of ... let's say power. This can be power in life or a relationship or what ever you want to put this for.
The person will hurt someone not because they do it by accident but because they need the reassurance that they still have control over something in their lives.
Unfortunately this thing they have control of can be other people's emotions.

This is their security blanket to say 'I've not lost all control I can still do something by my own will and it will have an effect that I want.'

This effect doesn't have to be one they want. As long as they know the effect it will have they know they have control of the situation because they know the outcome.

For example someone thinks:
'If I cheat on (...) then they will be upset' they have now predicted the outcome. The one that obvious and that anyone could see.
Then they do what they thought about and got the reaction they predicted would be shown.
'There's my control there's the power I need. I know what to do to effect someone, to betray them' and this is what gives them the, what I like to call, power security blanket.
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That's all I have to say this has no meaning except I was thinking why I felt betrayed and hurt and then I thought of why someone would do something to another human being and then this all came to mind so here take it or don't I don't mind this is more of a deep diary but not personally deep more like deep in ... construct? Maybe? I don't know.