Robins' works

Love

AN: this one is cross posted on my AO3 so you can read it there too but anyways I'm posting this here and now because there are so many friends and family I have that don't think they're good enough, that don't think they're worth living, that don't want to be alive and in turn hurt themselves whether that be with a blade, with a hit, a burn, a scratch, a broken bone, recklessness, or alcohol, they just hurt and this goes out to all of them. All of those friends and all of those people. You are loved. Remember that. -Cess

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My love, you think I don't notice your downcast gaze when people aren't looking, but I can feel the pain behind your eyes because I know.

I know you wonder if anyone would really care if you were gone, if they would keep smiling like normal, and in the end the verdict is always that they will, because the world doesn't stop turning when someone dies.

You hear that living gets better, you hear that it's easier to live and let that much heal you, but they're wrong. Dying is the easiest thing to do, it can happen at any time, living is something most people can hardly do on a good day.

I know how you live is less life and more survival, going through each day feeling eyes on you from every direction, feeling as if your entire body is lead being dragged into the ground. It's easy to give into that feeling and let yourself sink beneath the surface, never knowing what anyone really thought in the end.

My love I need you to know that I notice, that I care, because I am you in a way. You may not know but the friends you think won't notice if you're gone will have their entire worlds collapse if you do.

Your mother will never stop remembering her baby, her most precious creation and every memory you shared with her. Your father will blame himself, he'll weep on his own and remember your regrets and happiest memories, but you'd never know this.

Even after death you will never know it. You think your sins will wash away with the memory of you and your regrets but they don't. All that's left is broken people who love you and constant asking of "what if I had done something more for them?"

Please, my love, look around you and let yourself be loved and open yourself up to someone you trust, because even just that much is better than leaving this world. Living is hard but in the end it will be worth it. You will always feel like this but it won't always be this loud in your head. You'll find people who will help carry your burdens and warm your soul with love.

You won't always be sinking; sometimes, you'll be able to float. There will be people there to help lighten your burdens enough so that you can breathe. When that time comes, hold onto all of those elated, genuinely happy feelings and never let yourself forget them. Never let yourself forget that you are loved.