Life

Doubt

The first negative emotion I ever felt was doubt. Junior Kindergarten, when I walked into class as a four year old, I doubted that anyone would want to play with me. I doubted my mom was gonna come back for me after the day was over, and I doubted that this would be any fun. Granted I was wrong this was still the first negative emotion I ever felt. It was a pound inside my chest that said run the other direction. A pain so large I could not swallow it with all the pride any four year old girl should have. My pink frilly dress felt like a light sheet barley covering my personality, ready to blow away at the first insult I got. That first insult didn't come until the 5th grade when a little boy called me four eyes and I punched him in the face. And I hope that fucker remembers my name now because I bet he doubted that I would, could stand up for my self. I had self doubt, doubt in my family and doing in my friends. I took strides through life, stepping over every doubt I had like it was a land mine about to blow. Dances circles around sadness because that was my only friend, and every time I made a friend it ended with my clinging to my stairs banister crying my eyes out because not only did I forget to doubt but I let in joy.