My Demons

Maybe I'm Not Good Enough

Maybe I'm not good enough..

I feel I don't do enough, that I'm not doing what I should, what needs to be.. 

I never planned to fall behind but it happened.

I never planned for anything that happened to me to happen.

None of it.

But what did?

It eats at me everyday of my life through the constant pain and reminders my demons give me..

Someday I'll be strong..

Maybe not today.

It might not be tomorrow either but.. I'll get there.

Though, I feel I don't do enough for her.. for anyone.

I feel I need to do more but I'm walking the edge.

Honest.. I'm terrified.

My demons terrify me..

I try to put on a brave face but I end up relying on a mask..

A mask that gets me through the day most of the time.

It helps.

Though I shouldn't rely on it..

I'm trying but I feel I'm drowning..

I don't want to bring her down too.

I want to get us both above the surface.

I want us both to survive this.

I want so much for her and for myself..

Someday..

Someday I'll be good enough for you.

I love you and I love I caught you.

Somehow.. we'll be good enough.