I Can't Love You (Grayson Dolan)

Chapter 9: Lux To The Principals Office

Lux's Pov:

I haven't spoken to either of them in a week, but I have seen them around. They'll skate past my house and I'll see them through my window or they'll pass my locker or pass me in the halls. I see them in the classes I have with them and I'm not going to lie...I miss them, a lot.

"Lux! Stop sitting there and get downstairs. You have to leave for school soon." Mum exclaims.

"You know what mum. Why don't you chill out for five minutes! I'm always on your time schedule so give me five minutes to relax and think!" I exclaim.

"Get going, you're gonna be late." She demands.

"No, I'm going to be early like every morning. I'm never late mom." I exclaim.

"On time is late, early is on time." She mumbles.

"I am so done with you right now," I exclaim and grab my stuff, heading downstairs and out the front door before she can say anything else. 

I decide to walk to school, clear my mind and think. Might as well take my time too cuz there's no way I'm gonna be late. I try to speed walk past the twins house, knowing they're still home and not wanting them to see me. I put my head down and walk as quick as I can but end up bumping into someone. I drop my keys on the ground and almost fall back but someone grabs me, saving me from falling.

I look up to thank the person but am met with familiar brown eyes, just who I was hoping to not bump into. 

"L-lux, I thought you drove to school." Gray stutters.

"I do, usually. I decided to walk today..." I explain.

we stand in silence for a few, looking at each other nervously.

"I should get inside, Ethan's waiting for me..." He whispers.

He walks past me and I sigh, god I miss them so much. I turn around faster than you could say damn.

"Gray!" I exclaim.

He turns around, looking at me curiously.

"I miss you so damn much..." I breathe out.

"W-why are you telling me this Lux? You ended things with us, not the other way around." He sighs.

"I just thought you should know...this isn't easy for me..." I sigh and turn around.

I continue walking, why the fuck did I open my damn mouth?

"You can't just say that and then walk away Lux!" He calls after me.

"I should have kept my mouth shut!" I call back.

"You're hurting yourself as much as you're hurting us Lux!" He exclaims.

"If I hurt you then just let me go!" I exclaim, still walking. 

"I would if it were that easy." He whispers from behind me.

He must've caught up with me, doesn't surprise me, he's an athlete.

I turn around and face him, I haven't been this close to him in weeks...feels so good, and I don't want to continue this....

"You run your life, your own fucking life Lux. No one, I repeat, no one can control you. You can have friends, a boyfriend, and still follow your plan. And if a relationship changes or alters your path then it was meant to happen. You can't control everything Lux, and your mom can't control you." He whispers. 

"Why are you so irresistible..." I whisper

"It's just because you know what you want" He whispers.

I close my eyes, letting my heart get the best of me and press my lips to his, the same raw electricity coursing through my body like everytime we touch. 

"I'm going to try this, us...I'm gonna see if I can focus on both my education and future and you, but any slight tiff, any fuck up...idk what might happen. My future is important...so are you but I need to make sure I have a future, a career ahead of me. But I want you, so I'm gonna try this, because whenever I'm around you, I have to force myself not to kiss you." I explain.

He smiles, and caresses my cheek. He's such an adorable human being and I want him so bad, he's everything I want.

"I'm not gonna let you go this time, so try really hard to keep things good." He whispers.

"As long as you're mine then I think we'll be okay." I smile.

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I got a drive to school with the boys this morning, It was almost as if nothing happened and we had never stopped talking. E was happy to see I was back and I felt happier than ever before, especially knowing Gray is mine. I'm just scared of what people are gonna think, I'm not a popular girl so a jock like Gray with a nerd like me is gonna catch people's attention. 

"Are you ready for this? If it's too much just say so but, I want everyone to know you're mine." He whispers.

"It's not too much, I'm okay." I smile.

He lightly squeezes my hand before leading me up the steps of the school and into the hallway. People stare, our hands are intertwined and I'm wearing his varsity jacket.

Some people whistle and others just stare judgingly. But with him beside me, I don't care what anyone else thinks...I want him and he's my everything. I probably sound like a lovestruck teenage girl but, I kinda am so I have a right too. As I look at him, I know I love him...I don't know if it's puppy love or real love...but I know I love him, and that's good enough for me.

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"Hey, girl! Im so glad you and Grayson are official! Good on you!" Ashley exclaims.

"Thanks, girl, it feels good." I smile.

"Lux to the principal's office!"

Confused, I gather my stuff and make my way down to the office.

"You wanted to see me?" I enter asking Mr. Paisely.

"Yes, some of your teachers informed me that you dropped out of computer science club..." He explains.

"Yes sir..?" I say as more of a question.

"And put your name on the soccer try-outs list?" He includes.

"Oh uh, well I figured that I should have at least one sport extracurricular activity on my record. Schools look for clubs and good grades but I feel like a sport will make me stand out especially if I have straight A's, am in chess club, was in computer science club, spent a summer abroad helping children in Africa and now soccer is on there. Im also planning on doing some volunteer work after school Wednesdays. It's a pact schedule but Im hoping it'll make me stand out." I explain.

"You've really thought about this." He nods.

"Yes sir! And I am in no way letting my friends, my boyfriend, or my personal shit get in the way." I exclaim.

"Ah yes, I hear you're...with Grayson Dolan." He mumbles.

"Is there something wrong with That Mr. Paisley?" I ask confused.

"No, he's a nice boy. He's planning on going to Princeton as well, he's one of the kids who applied. He wants to be a lawyer. Smart kid, good grades and for an athlete I'm impressed. Its his brother though. Ethan hasnt applied to college or university. He said he's going to wing it." He shakes his head.

"Let's make a deal? Don't tell my mom about me and Grayson and I'll talk to Ethan and convince him to apply to something before its too late." I negotiate.

"That's doable..." He nods.