DESOLATION | BUCKY BARNES [1]

MINOR KEY

          After the incident in Lagos nearly a month ago, things haven't been getting any easier for the Avengers. As for me, well, I can't wait for everything to be over. I'll never be in the right place at the right time when it comes to being with Bucky again. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be in the end, but that's not something to think into too much. For now, the majority of the Avengers and I are located at the Avengers facility in New York. Wanda has been a mess since the incident because she doesn't trust herself and we've all tried talking to her, but no one has had any luck.

          It's mid-day and it's particularly quiet in this large complex. The hum of the television comes from the hallway and the flipping of each page of Steve's book are the only things to be heard. Weirdly enough, Tony insisted on having a piano in the facility and for what purpose is that, I don't know, but I'm drawn to it like a siren sings to a passing sailor. I make my over to the piano bench and take a seat as I lift the cover, revealing the sparkling black and white keys. My fingers lightly trace over the keys, mesmerized by their sudden beauty. In my heart, I've always wanted to know how to play, but in my head, something seems to.. click. Placing my bruised hands on the keys, with the chime of the first note, my hands take over, creating the hum of a melody that seems familiar. Just let your heart takeover and it'll make sense.

My fingers fly across the keys, hitting every note without error, and I feel a smile make its way on my face as this all seems to make sense to me. But as I would've stopped play to reminisce on this moment, I keep playing the song that I hold so close to my heart. Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven.

"That was incredible," Steve says, leaning against the piano as I finish playing. "How do you remember the entire piece without looking at sheet music? Because that's impressive."

I smile at his compliment. I'm amazed to how well I actually remember the piece of classical music. "As a child, I begged my parents to let me have piano lessons, and of course, they gave in and found a teacher to give me private lessons. For my last recital I did before I became...," I stop mid-sentence as the memory of that very performance makes its way into my mind. "Beethoven had always been my favorite composer. I used to constantly play his music, and eventually, I began to memorize the music. Moonlight Sonata was my final performance and it's the one thing that I seemed to have forgotten about."

"I'm surprised that you didn't figure this out sooner," Steve and I both turn around to see Tony with a forced smile resting upon his face. "You would've gone places with the talent you have, but we all know the ending to that story."

His words sting, but I don't let them bother me because it's the truth. I sense that he's here to discuss the events that have unfolded in Lagos and trust me, it's all I've been hearing about on the news recently. Every time I hear my name -- the assassin's name -- on the television, I know that whatever comes after my name is never good and each time, they tie it only with the Winter Soldier, which makes it a thousand times worse. He will always be a part of you.

Without any questions asked, a man stands in the kitchen and Tony and him nod at each other. Taking a deep breath, mentally hoping that this will go well, make my way over to the table as everyone else does the same.

***

"And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?" Natasha questions the Secretary of State with his phrase 'vigilante'.

I look at the man, intrigued by what his thoughts are.

"How about "Dangerous?" What would you call a group of US-based, enhanced individuals, who routinely ignores sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind them. New York. Washington DC. Sokovia. Lagos," his answer seems logical, but it doesn't affect me whatsoever.

Tony and I make eye contact and I give him a quizzical look. "Pardon me, Secretary Ross. I understand your point, but I don't seem to understand why this would affect me. I'm not apart of this 'group' and quite frankly, I don't want to be punished for their actions," sarcasm drips from my tone, causing Nat to kick me in the shin to stop talking.

"Ah yes, Dr. Rawlins... or should I say the Red Ghost? You've been linked to over a hundred assassinations and yet, you still haven't been put into a federal prison," he says, calmly, but my breathing hitches. "As an asset to Hydra, you are feared by most and wanted dead by thousands. So yes, this does affect you a great deal."

"I could terminate the entire human population if I really wanted to," I say under my breath, annoyed with the Secretary.

          His eyes meet mine once again after I mumbled the words and Nat, yet again, kicks me in the shin, inevitably making sure to leave a bruise this time around. By reaction, I kick her back, a hundred times harder than she has and a look of pain flashes through her eyes. This is where I feel the tension in the room rising, making me feel like I'm suffocating on someone else's words.

The Secretary begins to speak again, but for some reason, I lack focus and my heart starts to beat fast, feeling like I'm breathless and a trace of fear runs through my body. I'm not scared of this. This isn't me, but who else would be? My body tenses as I realize how similar this feeling is. Bucky.

"Avalon," I hear Steve's voice.

My attention turns to him, but I don't say anything. My heart continues to beat a thousands miles a minute. I concentrate on my breathing, attempting to slow it down, along with my heartbeat. He gives me a quizzical look as I look around and see that everyone had left the table and the Secretary of State left as well. All that's left is me. My fingernails digging into my palms as blood slowly seeps from the small incisions.

"Talk to me. What is it?" he asks and I simply nod my head, needing to talk to someone about it.

"Not here, though."

***

       The sun is bright in the late afternoon in upper part of New York state. Steve and I stand outside in a comfortable silence, trying to forget about the meeting that had taken place. There is tension amongst the Avengers and it's not healthy because I have a feeling that something bad might happen between them and I don't want to get in the middle of it.

"I got a weird feeling in my heart during the meeting," I speak up, not bothering to make eye contact with my friend. "It felt like fear paralyzed me and my heart began to beat faster. It felt like I was in a daze, but I wasn't afraid."

Steve looks over at me, relieved that I finally opened up about this issue of mine. He doesn't say anything.

"I think he's in trouble. I know it sounds clichè, but this connection has always been there and I don't know how or why. Seventy years of being this assassin, I know when James Buchanan Barnes is in trouble when I feel it," my tone sounds harsh, but if anything, I'm trying to cover the guilt of not knowing where he is right now.

Steve's facial expression winces at the mentioning of his old best friend. This must hurt him more than anything. After all, we've been trying to find the ex-Hydra assassin for over two years and it's like he left the world without a trace, but I know he's still alive, I just know it.

"Well then, let's go save my best friend, Avalon Rawlins"

a/n - hey! here's a new update for ya! tell me what you think? and i have a question! what do you guys think about a prequel? it would be about avalon's life pre-assassin. let me know! - kenzie