An Intimate View Into My Mind

The Trouble With Breakups

Hey Brandon,

Talking with you last night was really great.

It brought back so many memories to hear your voice again.

It also made me realize how much I still love you.

I don't know if I will ever stop, really.

Coming here to Israel was a great thing for me to do for myself, but leaving you was such a real and significant cost that there have been moments during which I wondered if it was worth it.

Even now as I write this, I can't stop my eyes from leaking.

I really love you.

So much, possibly more than can be expressed with words.

I still daydream about you in class, damn it. (Is that healthy?)

I am really happy to know that you are doing OK and not falling apart as I feared.

I guess I am feeling a bit homesick today, missing the known and the comfortable. Syracuse IS shitty, but it's what I know.

A piece of me misses the snow, oddly enough.

And the Adirondack mountains.

I just really wish you could be here to give me a hug.

I miss so much about you.

Your company and your laugh and your comforting presence.

Your gentle reassurance that no matter what I do or say,

I will still be loveable, and you will still love me.

I told myself that letting go of you would be easy, but it's one of the hardest things.

I try to think about other things, and that is definitely getting better.

One way or another, something randomly reminds me of you and the cycle repeats itself.

Is it the same for you?

Do you miss me the way I miss you?

Are we meant to be together? Only time can tell that, I think.

You inspire me to be my best self, and if that isn't love, then I sure as hell don't know what is.