Cry Your Tears On My Shoulder

Demons In My Head

I woke up and looked at the time. 6:43??? I can't believe I slept that much... I noticed someone was knocking on my door and without thinking I yelled "Come in!" Jay walked in and said  "Hey Babe, Me and Tom are going to the store, Siva is going to see his girlfriend and Max should be home soon." I nodded and he sat next to me on my bed. "I know you miss him, We all do." He stopped and made me face him. He looked straight into me. His eyes burning right through to my soul.

"Don't. Think. About. Him." He said slowly but sternly, He let go of my chin and got up. He left so quickly closing the door and I just sat there. Not knowing what just happened. I tried to think but couldn't. Not a thought came to mind. There was something or someone I couldn't remember and it frustrated me. I shook my head and screamed.

My hands began to shake and my throat felt dry. I got extremely hot and ripped off my sweater. I threw my shoes in different directions and took my hair out of a pony tail. I screamed again. My body was going numb. I couldn't feel a thing I touched. My vision started to go black then bright again. I screamed once more. I was losing control.

I got off my bed and started to breathe heavily. My vision went black then bright again. I stomped on the floor and yelled loudly. I threw myself against the wall and banged my fists on it. I couldn't think straight at all. I screamed "Who are you!?" No one answered and I knocked my desk over, Things going different ways. I pounded my fists on the walls again and ran to my closet.

I tore clothes off of hangers, Made drawers become vacant and shelves empty. I screamed again. I kicked my drawer and threw shoes. I turned around and punched my mirror. Breaking it. The glass shattered and fell to the floor. I looked at my broken reflection. "Remember" I whispered and punched it again with my other fist. I kept punching and my knuckles became bloody. I didn't feel a thing.

I threw the broken glass everywhere and ran out of the closet. I went to my window and threw my fists at it. Beating it senseless. My bloody prints all over it. I knocked over my lamp and kicked it. I threw a shoe at my door and it made a dent. I screamed and it hurt my ears. I felt my ears on fire and I screamed again. But that only made the pain worse. I groaned and threw another piece of glass.

I ripped the bed sheets off my bed and kicked them around. I fell over my lamp and my knee landed on a piece of glass. I yelled in frustration and kicked it. I got up and saw a picture of me and a boy on my wall. I walked over to it closely. I examined it. I didn't know who that was. I got angry again and punched the picture. The glass flew everywhere and I walked out of my room. My hands were dripping blood and I was still breathing heavily.

I stumbled down the stairs and left bloody hand prints on everything I touched. Why couldn't I remember this person? Who was it? Were they important? Did I love this person? Not being able to answer questions that flew around my mind frightened me. I screamed again. I picked up a picture and saw me and five men. We stood together. I had my lips on a guy's cheek. My eyes closed and the man smiling. Who was he? There was Max, Jay, Siva, Tom and I. Who was the other man?

I threw the picture and the sound of it meeting a wall tore my ears off. It was the most horrible sound I've ever heard. I screamed and my vision slowly disappeared. I didn't feel it, But I knew I had fallen to the floor. I didn't see anything, I couldn't. I felt myself falling. Letting go, No longer holding on. The sad thing is... My demons weren't going to catch me either.