THE ONE
We all hope for the chance to meet that one person who will change our life. We hope to fall in love with one another and spend the rest of our lives with each other. Just like in the movies, we all want our happily ever after. Unfortunately, it takes several heartbreaks to find that special someone, and you don't always get the happy ending that you had hoped for. Some people never find that person. I am still in search of that person. I have been in three relationships, but to tell the truth, I was only truly in love with one of them. It was the moment that I laid eyes on her for the very first time, that I fell in love. Now I know what most of you are thinking. There is no such thing as love at first sight. Well, we are all entitled to our own opinion, but to tell me I am wrong wouldn't make the slightest bit of difference. I know what I felt in that moment, and no one can take that from me. At first, I was very nervous to talk to her. She was gorgeous, like the sun setting on the ocean, with the rays glistening in the water. Of course, for me to even speak a single word to her, I had to have some sort of courage. It was a good thing that I had already been drinking, because without liquid courage, her and I would have never met each other. So after ordering a whiskey and coke, I made my way over to where she was sitting. I introduced myself and everything that followed went pretty well. We danced, exchanged numbers, and we even went to breakfast at IHOP. As I sat in a booth, eating the heap of pancakes which were smothered in every syrup that IHOP had to offer, my brother and my friend had decided to keep our company entertained by telling her and her friend some pretty embarrassing stories of what I had done in the past. She seemed to have been enjoying herself, seeing as the smile on her face only grew bigger, as the redness on my face got darker by the second. We finished our meals, said our goodbyes, and off we went on our own separate ways. The next morning, I made myself a cup of coffee and sat in the garage. My brother sat in a chair across from me. I had been pondering on what I was going to say to her. I lit a cigarette while I stared at the screen of my phone, wondering what was going to come off my fingers and onto the page in front of me. I couldn't think of anything, so I asked my brother. I took his idea, and I felt as if it was a longshot. "Whats cookin good lookin?". This is the first text that I had sent her the morning after we met. What followed after that was continuous laughter and a fair amount of happiness. We met up again later that night. Unfortunately, I had only a few days before I had to go back. We went to Chilis and had lunch. Those were three hours that I will never forget. We talked about who we were, our lives, and so much more. I enjoyed every moment of her presence. I had this feeling that I had never felt before, and it was the greatest feeling that I had ever experienced up to that point in my life. We saw each other once more. She invited me to her home, and we had a nice conversation while I sat in her kitchen, counting down the minutes before I had to leave. Saying goodbye was harder than I thought it would be. At this point, we were friends, but I wanted more. I went back to California to continue with my life, while she stayed back home and continued on with hers. We texted each other nonstop, and I would always be anxious to receive her response. This went on for months. We told each other our darkest secrets, and we had become best friends. We had discussed dating before, but she always told me that she never wanted to date a military man. She gave me her reasons and I understood, although I had wished to be an exception to that. Well, one day I got my wish. We were Skyping while I was eating lunch in my room. I played "I cross my heart" to her, which is the song I ended up singing to her time and time again. After the song was over, I read to her a small poem that I had written. It said, "To the most beautiful woman in the world, (insert name here) will you be my girl?". She smiled from ear to ear, exposing her cute dimples. A few seconds went by and the word that I had been dying to hear had finally crossed her lips. She said yes, and I was so thrilled beyond what I can explain. I came home to visit her a few months later, and she gave me two of the greatest weeks of my life. I will never forget the times that me and her spent together. I had fallen deeply in love, and nothing could stop what we had. Or so I thought. My life had made a turn for the worse, and I became severly depressed. Everything that we had was slowly falling apart, and there was nothing that I could do to stop it. I had made some bad decisions regarding our relationship that I wish I was able to take back, but, no matter what, I cant change the past. We began arguing constantly and I felt more lost than I had ever felt before. It seems that I had pushed her to a point of no return, because she ended everything between us. In the months that have followed since we have broken up, she has moved on and found someone else. I, however, have tried but failed. You see, when you make plans of having a life with someone, you hope that you will be able to follow through with those plans and that everything will turn out how you imagined. Unfortunately, that isn't how it always works out. Sometimes, life will knock us down, and then kick us while we are down. I still suffer from severe depression, and it is nothing that I can control. As much as I would like to think that I can control my depression and that it is all in my head, that just isn't the case. I have found that out the hard way. Many people may disagree, but it is my firm belief that my depression is what caused me to lose what I had thought to be "The one". She has moved on, and is now happy with another man. I have moved on as well, but there is not a single day that goes by without me thinking of what could have been. Everyone tells me to just forget about her, but it isn't that simple. It never is. I still love her, and I always will, but there is one thing that keeps me going. When we were together, there is something I would tell her. "Your happiness is all that matters. As long as you are happy, I am happy.". I only hope that she will continue to be happy, and keep on sharing that beautiful smile with the world. I only hope that I will find happiness again someday, just as she has found hers.
