Strength

Chapter 1

Mavis opened her eyes, ending the short internal battle she had just retained. She tried refocusing on her laptop screen and her current task, studying for her biology final, but she couldn’t seem to get back into it. She tried to concentrate but the definitions and important bits of information wouldn’t stick in her brain. Ugh, she thought, this is so stupid. I don’t care about what metabolism means. I just want this to disappear. Despite her grumblings, her notes for that year’s science class didn’t go away; it stayed on the word document she had typed up throughout the year and seemed to mock her. This is just what I need, more problems, She sighed. Why couldn’t she focus? Why was this so hard? Why couldn’t she shake the weights off her shoulders? Why, why, why. I’ll never get it right. So why do I waste time trying figure it out? Sighing, Mavis once again tried to get her studying finished, but to no avail.

She leaned back in her desk chair, staring at the small black words she was supposed to memorize. It was hard to focus on school when you had constant thoughts of self-doubt and worthlessness invading your mind. Mavis could hardly get these things out of her head, even though the event which caused these feelings had happened about a year ago. These wounds were slow to heal, and it seemed as if everything kept tearing away what little scab had formed.

Mavis closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It wouldn’t make anything better if she lost control of the emotions she had been struggling to rein in for about a year. It was very important to get her focus back; her bio final was this upcoming Friday which also happened to be the last day of school. It’s 5:30 pm on Sunday the 25th, thought Mavis as she snuck a peek at the clock on the lower right of her computer screen, only four more days to study. A math final was also looming over her but Mavis wasn’t worried. Math was one of her best subjects, and she knew she would do well if she concentrated and did her best. Thinking about an A+ as a final grade in math that year relaxed Mavis, but just as she was about to dive into her biology notes, the sound of heavy metal drifted into her ears.

“Great, just another act of kindness from my dear sister,” Mavis mumbled sarcastically. She hated the insincerity in her voice but it came out just the same. Mavis walked up to the wall that separated her from Rachel’s room and yelled through the barrier.

“Can you turn the music down?!?” Then, with a grimace on her face, she let the last word escape her lips, “Please?” If anything, the music got louder. Mavis stomped back to her desk and sat back down in her chair. She could feel the drums from the CD pounding in sync with her own heart. Nothing helps, not even an unnatural act of kindness. She closed her laptop and tried to ignore the twang of the guitars and the screeching of the lead singer. Eventually, the song ended and a slightly mellower one began. At least this one’s not as loud and crazy.

Mavis walked to her bed and plopped down. She leaned back, resting her head on her pillow, and looked up at her plain white ceiling. This was normal, the inconsiderate actions from her family, the hate, the pain and the questions. They never stopped, they never stopped. Mavis bit her lip. Nothing is right here, nothing is good. There just isn’t any love anymore.

Love was something that Mavis had not felt in a long time. At least not since he had run away and left her, Rachel and their mom torn and confused. Mavis’s family had never been perfect but she treasured it all the same. Then, what happiness and contentment was there had been ripped to pieces when he abandoned them. No warning, just here one day and gone the next. Rachel and Mrs. Solano were twisted with hatred and grief but Mavis still held tight to a faint hope that her dad would come back to them, to her.