chapter one

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"I paint flowers so they will not die."
-Frida Kahlo

***

"I saved you a pancake," said Eli. It was Valentine's Day, and like every year on the service trip, they served heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast.  And like every year, I slept through the whole affair.

("I can't believe you're starting the story with Eli," said Violet.
"No interruptions! And he's an important part of the story. If it weren't for him, we wouldn't even be friends."
"Fine fine. Continue.")

"You're being awfully nice to me today," I commented. He handed me a pair of work gloves.

"Well since it's Valentine's day, I assumed you'd be feeling especially sad and lonely. So I decided I should be nice to you."

"How kind," I said while chewing a giant bite of pancake.

"Did you do something with your hair?" He asked. I was shocked. I had gotten my hair trimmed last weekend, but it was barely noticeable. Did Eli really pay that much attention to my hair?

"Everyone listen up, because I'm not going to repeat this! You'll be working with new groups today. Today we're going to focus on repairing the store. The goal is to have it ready for operation by the end of the week." Eli and I looked at each other. Neither of us believed that we could repair a storm ruined shop in four days.

Not that we had been particularly helpful. We provided distraction with our antics but contributed very little in terms of work. We weren't particularly physical creatures, and yesterday was full of heavy lifting.

But today we were doing the little things. And I was in the painting group. I got to wear an artist's apron and everything, and I was irrationally excited about it.

"I haven't painted since I was a kid," I said to Violet. She was in my group. She was friends with Eli, but we had never really talked. She smiled.

"You're so excited about this. It's making me sad that we're only supposed to paint the walls solid colors."

"Oh no I couldn't paint something other than a solid wall even if I tried. I'm happy with just this." Violet smiled. We found our starting spots and began. The movement of the brush felt so soft and smooth.

"Violet can you paint?" I asked. She shook her head.

"I can, but I'm not good at it."

We painted in quiet for the most part. We didn't really have anything to say to each other, but I didn't feel like I had to. Violet calmed me down for some reason.

"Sorry!" I said after flicking a bit of paint onto Violet.

"It's really not okay," she said in a monotone voice. I widened my eyes. Then she brushed the side of my leg with paint. I let out a startled laugh. It was inevitable. Paint was flying. We were covered.

"Enough!" A shrill voice said. We stopped, mortified.

"Sorry Mrs. Hansen," I apologized with my head bowed. She sighed.

"Just get back to work. No tomfoolery this time." We met eyes after she had turned her back.

"I don't know about you, but I have lots of ideas for tomfoolery," Violet said.

"I really would join you, but I don't want to get in trouble." My voice was as apologetic as could be.

"Yeah it's okay! No worries." We went back to painting but the quiet didn't feel as soft as before. There was a harshness to it. Violet began painting in another room, so we stopped talking all together.
After a few minutes, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to look up at Violet.

"Come with me?" She asked. I nodded. She brought me to a small closet with shelves on both sides.

"You're small enough to comfortably get under one of these shelves. And I can squeeze." I had no clue where she was going with this, but I sat under a shelf.

Then I gasped. Violet had begun to paint me in this secret space.

"This is insane!" I felt a warmth at seeing Violet's representation of me. In the painting, I looked soft, without any of the harsh lines my face had in person. I was tinted with a rose color. I looked lovelier than I did in real life.

"You should paint something," Violet said.

"I don't want to paint you. I'd ruin it."

"Something simple then." I thought about it for a second, before getting an idea. I used a paper towel as my palette to mix the colors I thought I'd need.

"Don't watch!" I instructed Violet. She turned away, amused. I didn't know what I was doing, but I used extreme precision so I wouldn't mess up. Violet left to get water bottles for the both of us.

"I don't want to hurry your work, but we have lunch break in ten."

"I'm finished!" I said triumphantly. Violet crawled into the space to look at it. All of a sudden, I felt embarrassed. I knew I wasn't expected to create a masterpiece. I had little prior experience. But seeing Violet inspect my crude rendition of a violet, especially when it was juxtaposed next to her painting of me, I felt an enormous sense of inadequacy.

"This is beautiful. You should paint more," said Violet. I was elated.

We walked to lunch together. I waved to my friend group, but I sat with Violet, Eli, and their friends. We were sharing stories of the day.

"Eli whacked Thomas in the back with a wooden plank," Tara shared. They had been in the group working outdoors. I laughed, imagining Thomas's facial expression. I knew how quickly he gave into anger...

"What did you and Violet do in painting?" Eli asked. We looked at each other.

"Nothing exciting really," said Violet. She looked at me so quickly that no one else saw, with a tiny smile. I returned it.

That was our first secret.

***

Author's note: I've decided to put author's notes at the end. Also all the Violet commentary from the present will be in Italics/parentheses. Violet will always be the first speaker!

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