Prologue: “IDK”
Such a euphoric feeling, you’ll forget everything else… you’ll know once you feel it, it’s like watching sparks fly and feeling this warmth inside of you, seeing him for the first time… You will feel so jolly and comfortable and it’s like a thousand warm hugs embracing you from all sides….
All these bullshit descriptions of having romantic feelings for someone, to hell with it all, it’s all just butterflies in your stomach fluttering their wings like their fucking dragons wanting to come out of the cave that is your abdominal area, I feel this strong urge to perform surgical procedures and prop the damned moths out of my fucking stomach, god damn you emotions.
I hate to break it to you but love and admiration isn’t all that it seems, it’s complicated and so full of mixed emotions… we’ve been prepared for countless things like creating doctor’s appointments, setting up bank accounts, establishing social competence, a towering block of educational background and getting jobs for out healthy corporal and non-corporal futures… but fuck, no one prepared us for the emotional devastation that is falling in love.
It is a universally unacknowledged truth that not all people are comfortable with having this damned urge to be with someone, it is itself something hard to acknowledge if you’re someone who have been so keen on saying that you don’t need someone… in my case, I haven’t exactly rejected the thought, I’ve just been overly apathetic about all this, I did not knew the time would have come so soon. SO, I guess the fault is with me. FINE, SO, yet again, I do acknowledge this new found truth. But heck, I’m a guy… he’s a guy.
FUCK THE UNIVERSE, okay……
It’s just so easy to romanticize being brave and just letting it out there you know? But it’s never been an easy thing to introduce such an unorthodox state to people who have been used to the normality of love between the opposite sex. Or maybe yet again, the fault is just with me, maybe I SHOULD just hang it the fuck out there…. Or maybe not.
So much conflict in me, truth be told, I am the main cause of most of it.
Hell, maybe I don’t have to tell it and just let people figure it out for themselves, but yet again… that complicates the matter and will just get everyone confused…. But if they get confused then that’s for them to worry about, if they don’t understand then they deserve it.
Yeah, I guess I will just let them figure it out for themselves... or maybe not…. I guess I will just have to find out…. Because I don’t really know. Also, typing this in a moving car is giving me motion sickness… holy hell.
