Don't be yourself, that's not cool enough.
Don't be insecure, you've broken the rules enough.
Just be pretty, popular, respected and liked.
It's not that hard to do that and be nice!
Why can't I just be me, or am I not good enough?
Are my frizzy hair and crooked teeth not perfect enough?
Why do I have to change who I am to have friends?
Are a few likes on a picture all worth it in the end?
I look at the other girls and pray to God that could be me.
I imagine what a perfect life I'd have if that were me.
So I'll skip a meal or two, what's the harm in that?
I'll still just end up forgotten, ugly and fat!
I'll see that I'm getting better grades than them.
I'll see that I can't be smart and popular in the end.
So I'll lower my grades, try to fail a few tests.
I can't do anything to put me above the rest.
I can't show them that I want more than this!
I can't do anything if it has risk.
I can't be loud, or show individuality.
And I definitely can't just be who I want to be!
I'm trapped in the body of a stranger.
And every day, when I look into the mirror,
I see the monster that I've created.
But I don't want to change, cause I don't know what's underneath it!
I've become so comfortable in this fake identity
That I don't know what's them and what's really me!
All I know is that I can't ever be just me.
I don't think I could ever be that crazy.
Trying to fit in is in my DNA.
It was planted in my brain at a very young age.
I know I can't ever stand out from the crowd.
That would never make anyone proud.
I would sit in my room and analyze everything.
Anything I could have done better or some clue to fit in!
I can't ever find anything, I'm sure,
But I also don't know what I could be looking for!
I don't even have a clue where to start!
Do I take care of my face, or this obsession with the arts?
I don't know if I can do this anymore!
How do I stop drowning if I can't find the shore?
I can't see where I'm going, I'm lost and confused.
How can I stop this quick burning fuse,
Before I implode from stress and anxiety,
How do I stop it, before it gets the best of me?
I can't admit it, but I can't hold it in.
I can't keep on living life like I've been!
I'm a mess. Yes you heard me right, I'm a mess.
Even saying those three words have lifted most of the stress.
I'm not perfect, and I never will be.
But maybe, just maybe, that could be okay with me.
I could learn to accept it, slowly but surely.
I could figure this out, and live life purposefully.
