Where She Laid ✔

It has been over two weeks since I last saw her in all of her glory. The memories we shared have yet to stop replaying within my mind. Her lips never left my own as I can still feel their soft presence. Her thin fingers still fall into my palm after tracing over my broad shoulders and down my arms. Her breathing is still in sync with my own while her head lays upon my chest and she slowly falls into a deep sleep as she always does with me. Except this time is unlike the rest as it is the last time appose to the first time and little did I know then that only fourty-three minutes later her heart would stop and she would struggle to breath as she died within my arms.

In the crowded halls of Jefferson High I saw her laughing up against her locker. Even after reminding myself that she is gone, I still find myself making my way to her locker with the sparkling bit of hope that she was still here floating within my mind. I had reached her locker, by then the memory faded and all I was left with was the various flowers and love notes that were stuck up against the metal and the bell for third period that was echoing throughout the busy halls in which I was simply ignoring as the grief began to set it once again.

She was a ray of sunshine that always caught the eyes of bystanders. You were lucky to have even caught a glimpse of her breath taking smile that alone could light up an entire room. I myself was lucky to have loved her and been loved by her in the time she lived. Our love was pure, as she was my fondest of obsessions and I wanted nothing more from her than to see her smile and hear her laugh sporadically until the dark of the night enveloped us in a tight hug that reminded us it would all be okay. I wanted to forever treasure her and never let go of what we had.

The night she left me has left me traumatized. Seeing her in such pain that I knew I could not take away left me shattered once she was gone. Everything has turned into the most painful shade of blue and now the hot summer air around me feels cold. I have yet to figure out how this world has continued to live on after such a person has passed on from it. I am unsure how I myself am still breathing. She was my lifeline; my one and only air supply. It was sucked out of me and left me breathless as I struggled to control my seemingly endless sobs. I never let go of her hand as I was afaid to lose her.

I remember the day I asked her to be my girlfriend. I invited her on a date to the new Italian restaurant that had opened a few months back. She had wore a long sleeve Gray sweater that was as soft as the skin it laid upon. She had paired it with a black button up skirt that was mid thigh length and a pair of black zip up high heal boots. Her ash brown hair was flattened to perfection and her makeup was light as I had always reminded her of her natural beauty and how much I adored it.

After two hours of talking I had finally pulled out the rose gold promise ring I had engraved with our initials only weeks before and fit into a black heart shaped box and asked her. That Day I promised her that as long as we were together I would love and protect her. Little did I know then that the words I spoke and the true intent I held within could not save her from the inevitable. I can still see the look on her face painted fresh in my mind despite the fact of it having happened three and a half years ago. The way her eyes lit up with nothing but pure love, and her nose wrinkled when a smile broke out across her face made my heart skip a beat. I wish I could go back to that day. I wish I could hold her in my arms again.

So here I laid, in my bed in which we spent our last time together. She use to come over just to sleep in my arms. She would call these naps her beauty rest. Her head would always fall on my chest and my arm around her waist, my thumb tracing shapes on to her hips until she'd fallen to sleep. She loved sleep so much that she eventually became it and slept forever, as Snow White once had. Except Snow White awoke from her forever sleep and lived on. She would've envied Snow White and the kiss that woke her.

Given the circumstances my mom had made me attend therapy. She hoped it would help me, but it has yet to do so. I have yet to even smile since then. I don't see a reason to smile. I sat on the dampened grass that covered the green city park, where we once laid. It had been a chilly summer night when I took her on her third date, to stargaze. I brought a picnic basket full of mini sandwiches, cookies, and Apple juice. She use to love Apple juice. We sat there on a plaid felt blanket talking for hours underneath the stars. I learned so much about her that night. The most important being that I loved her. I love her.

It's now my job to live my life to the fullest, to do the things she never got the chance to do. My life will end too one day, and this was simply nature taking its course. Why did it happen to her? I'm not sure, but I do know that I was lucky to have loved her while I had the chance and I am grateful for the memories I got to keep.

On March 5th at 4:38PM eighteen year old Angela Light passed away due to a heart condition called Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy that went undetected in her earlier checkups. The doctors said there was nothing they could have done different that would've changed the outcome. Nature simply took its course. Teacher's, student's, coaches, and family all came together at her funeral to say farewell to the young girl. Many tears were shed from various people. One of them being myself. I was asked to speak at the funeral and at first I was terrified to say the least. I would be speaking to many grieving over the loss of family, and a friend. I lost the love of my life, and to be honest I wasn't sure I would be able to keep myself together throughout it, but I managed; for Angela. I told her story and I left an engagement ring lying upon the wooden box that held her. If only she could've been here to say yes.