A Fall From Grace

Part 7

"Alexander slow down I simply cannot keep up" he reluctantly slowed his pace realizing I was falling behind. We made many twists and turns and I truly had no clue where we were. Soon after we approached a guard who opened the door upon our arrival. Sitting on the edge of the sofa sat a lady in a plain brown dress. She wore an expression of worry. As soon as she heard us enter she stood and bowed. 

"My queen thank you for seeing me I know you are very busy" I smiled if only she knew it was the exact opposite.
"My name is Sophia and you saved my youngest boy Will. Words cannot express my gratitude and I am forever in your debt" I could see the tear that escaped but she quickly wiped it away. She looked so worn and tired for a woman her age. She couldn't have been older than thirty but hardships had aged her.
I felt such an overwhelming urge to comfort her. I grabbed her hands and she finally looked up eyes glistening. I pulled her into a hug as she let out a sob. "I would do it all over again. I am so grateful that he is okay"
Alexander had discreetly left the room giving us privacy. I led Sophia back to the couch. We spent the afternoon sharing stories. Will was the youngest he had a knack for finding trouble and loved to explore. He recently turned three and hated being told what to do. Lisbet was growing into a beautiful young girl. She possessed the kindest heart. Sophia worried because others tend to pick on her since she was little and shy. But I assured her she would find her voice. Lastly, Thomas looked and acted like his father more and more everyday. He took his responsibilities very seriously.
"My husband was a soldier killed in a dispute on the east border two years ago." Sophia sniffles and I immediately grabbed her hand in comfort
"You don't have to tell me if it upsets you"
She smiles softly though it didn't reach her eyes. "No, no I get a bit emotional is all but I love telling others about my Jared, it keeps his memory alive" I nodded in understanding although I could no way feel her pain.
"He was so strong and brave, Thomas was only seven. He took it the hardest always hoping to be just like his father."
"I cannot imagine how hard it was to support them all"
"Well somehow Ive  managed, been taking any work I can find ever since. And we have each other. Our love is the only thing strong enough to keep me going"
Love. It seemed to be rearing it's head into everything these days. Sophia was prideful I could tell that much. I couldn't help but admire her strength. I blurted out my idea without thinking "would you like to work here? In the castle" I continued before she could interrupt "it would offer stability, a steady income."
Sophia looked a bit flustered, "that is so very kind my queen but I wasn't fishing for a job I have managed well" she sat up straighter
I could see I hurt her pride and hurried to fix it "of course it's just that It can get a bit lonely here and it would be nice to see a friendly face. Feel free to think it over"
I could see she wanted to say yes. No more searching for jobs and worrying about feeding her children. If I could change one persons world for the better it was worth it.
"This is a very generous offer. I would be a fool not to accept"
I squealed "Perfect Ill have the arrangements made immediately"
The sun began its descent by the time we had bid our farewell. I insisted a guard accompany her back to town and she vowed to be here early morning ready to work. I continued watching the final rays dip below the horizon long after she left. At first I was overjoyed to have made a friend but then I wondered how many were struggling to support their family. I squeezed my eyes shut in anguish. I couldn't save them all.
Another hour had passed, the room submerged in moonlight and the fire nothing but blackened embers. The maids had informed me when it was dinner time but it had come and past and I still had no will to move. Goosebumps covered my arms but I liked the discomfort. The same thought replayed over and over
What is it like to have nothing
So lost in thought, my heart nearly stopped when Dorian spoke
"How long have you been siting in the dark?"
My hand immediately fluttered over my chest, I turned to face him agitating my sore ribs further. Only his silhouette was visible, leaning casually against the door frame.
"You startled me"
He walked further into the room so I would have to twist around. "You should be resting it's only your first day back on your feet."
"Oh but Dorian there was so much to see and Will's mother came to the castle and she was so grateful I saved her little boy."
Dorian stood in front of me now and the moonlight shone upon his face. His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips tilted down.
"What's the matter what did I say?"
"Nothing, I'm glad you liked the tour, it's getting late we should head to bed"
He looked so stressed and tired but he continued to shut me out. I suddenly stood up not wanting to feel vulnerable as he towered over me.
"Please don't shut me out. Why the sudden sour mood"
"Fine. I just do not like how this women comes here begging for your attention and praises you for putting your life at risk"
I scoffed "Dorian you're being ridiculous she did not such thing she only wanted to thank me. A mothers child is the most precious gift and I am honored to have helped."
I could see his temper rising his hands clenching as he tried to stay in control "that's just it, she is placing these thoughts in your head that tell you it's ok to risk your life... rewarding you for-for bad behavior!"
I stepped towards him shoving his chest as hard as I could. But he barley moved.
"I am NOT a dog. There is no reward for saving a boy's life only a consequence if I hadn't"
"So you saved him so you wouldn't feel guilty"
"How could you think so little of me! I saved him because it was the right thing to do. I do not believe in anything different"
He perused his lips. " I don't want to have this argument again" he started towards the door.
"You do not just get to come in here and pick a fight with me."
"I don't want you seeing this woman again"
"How dare you! Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?" I couldn't help smirking "to late because I offered her a maid position in the castle"
He turned around so quickly face to face that I stumbled back startled by his outburst. His eyes were swarming with anger, an inky black devouring his crystal irises.
"I am your king!"
For once I feared this man. But just as quickly as it came, he blinked and his eyes were blue again like the never ending sky. I looked down at my flats, "why do we keep doing this to each other" silence was all I got for an answer. I looked up through blurry eyes only to find I was all alone.