MENTIONS OF SELF HARM WARNING SO A DONT GET YELLED AT
I never really was one to cut due to my overwhelming anxiety and fear of pain but lately I've seemed to break a barrior.
It's not been very bad cutting, only something that will heal in a few days and be completely gone, which is what I planned for but..
It's still a milestone in my depression that proves I'm getting worse, and with my anxiety I'm too terrified to talk to it with someone that can actually do anything about it, so here I am ranting to the internet.
I should probably put this on my vents book but technically this isn't a vent, it's more of a complaint. Not that im not complaining on my vents book, because I clearly am, but I guess this is different.
My mother is one of the main reasons I don't tell my family, or any adult for that matter. It's because she is the one I've given tho most hints to, being that I've ranted to her, and even tried to explain that I most likely have multiple disorders, and yet she refuses to even ask about me.
She likes to think of herself as someone who tries to recognize when someone has a disability, disorder, etc, but when it comes to HER OWN CHILD, she completely ignores even the slightest possibility that her little angel needs help. When the school shooting in Florida happened, she told me "I think one way we could lessen the possibility drastically is if we recognize children that might have mental disorders or disorders."
That is one reason that I decided to cut.
Then theres the reason that my father will find any excuse to yell at me, hell he yells at me for using the downstairs bathroom because I don't want to have to walk all the way upstairs, when there is a bathroom RIGHT NEXT TO ME.
These are a few of the dozens and dozens of reasons for why I cut.
I'm not going to list more for the reason of trying not to stay on the subject longer than I want to.
